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something from nothing Thursday, March 1, 2001 @ 10:31 p.m.

My father got this book out of the library that lists all these supposedly succinct untranslatable words from other languages. And it contained some quotation from Richard Dawkins' THE SELFISH GENE about memes, ravaging humankind. I tried to explain this concept to my mother-- "they're like culture molecules. Internet people are fascinated with them. And I mean, it sounds really scary, but really it's just the THONG SONG or SURVIVOR." And she just looked at me blankly, as if I had just told her I was really a man. I've been reading EAT THE RICH, by P. J. O'Rourke, the Rolling Stone writer. In spite of the title, he seems quite rightish to me. I like the opening sentence: "I had one fundamental question about economics: Why do some places prosper and thrive while others just suck?" I think that's pretty much it, isn't it? My dad ordered a book from the library: Dr. Seuss goes to war: the editorial cartoons of Theodore Giesel (apologies for spelling) during World War II. It's weird to consider that Dr. Seuss was an actual person with concerns other than making my childhood idyllic. I found a picked last in gym Tshirt! It will be my inagaural credit card purchase. Can I spell "inaugural"? No, I didn't think so. Maybe if I try two different ways, one will be at least partly right. Also, did you know that you can get swanky custom-embroidered hats from buckethat.com? I bet you thought no one even wanted that domain name! I did a lot of online window shopping today. I found cool shirts from delias, old navy trademark tshirts, and telescopes. I don't think I can afford the telescopes, although that would be cool. I think at this point in my fashion life what I am looking for is a sort of purchasable university hipness that doesn't overwhelm my own style-- or lack thereof-- just the infusion of the odd nostalgiac tshirt into my six-jean equation. That made no sense. Oh well-- more on this later. My mom bought no-name tampons, and it kind of freaks me out. I mean, is there a government corporation that tests these kinds of products to keep me safe? how do i know these tampons are OK? i think they were made by some guy in his basement. I wonder if Nancy Macbeth would introduce tampon inspection legislation if i promised to vote for her. (Mental note for Thursday: phone Nancy Macbeth's campaign offices and talk to one of her helpful volunteers about this.) Also, I finished my fourth black notebook last night. This makes me sad because the new one has no stickers and no nothing and it's all new and crispy, and if I write in it, it will soon be soggy and bendy and beaten-up-looking like the others. Oh well. At least Angie still wants them. I'm all buzzed tonight. I don't want to go to sleep.

The game! The game! Wednesday, February 28, 2001 @ 06:21 p.m.

I think we should invent a new game where everyone sends me some Avery 8 1/2 x 11 lavels, and then I print stickers on them and send them back. How does that sound? Does it sound like I am a cheap son of a bitch trying to solicit stationery supplies over the internet? Damn. I thought I was being subtler. My problem, though, is that I have no $$ to buy more labels, but I NEED more stickers. This is an actual medical need. I have a note from my doctor. Do I HAVE to run laps? I came home, and listened to in this order very loud: Sisqo, Nelly Furtado, and the Wild Colonials. Now I think it's time for some U2-- them is good cooking music. Oh, yes, only one more thing... WHY DON'T YOU LICK IT? Is that getting annoying yet? I don't think so!

Why don't you lick it? Wednesday, February 28, 2001 @ 01:08 p.m.

I am here at Centre High, which is a friendly-seeming vessel made of big pipes, brick, and glass. Angie and I tried to bring destruction to this building by jumping on the shaky bridge, and I feared I would be forever banished from this place, but fortunately the smart building engineers had done their job well. I keep expecting people to accuse me of not really being a Centre High student and demanding ID, and beating me to death with their 3-inch platform shoes, but so far all is well. Well, well. Well well well. Okay.

WHY DON'T YOU LICK IT Tuesday, February 27, 2001 @ 08:51 p.m.

From an old store suggestion book at lynnwood: "We need big roll-up gorilla posters over all the exits, so id the store is robbed again we press a button and the posters will roll down, scaring the robbers into hiding in a corner because they'd think gorillas were after them." This is a brilliant scheme. Why was it never implemented? On the bus on the way to school this morning, we sat at a red light next to a huge, dirty truck. the cab said "plaizier container services," and on the back was a big metal box- and i wondered-- what was inside it: smaller and smaller containers, stacked inside each other, the smallest being centimetre cubes and each containing-- what?-- a single screw, or one grain of sand, or the head of a LEGO minifig. the workings of industry remain a huge mystery to me inspite of my richard scarry reading and simcity building. Harrison Ford: a brief bad teenage poem i rode the bus to school this morning and the driver looked like harrison ford, star of star wars and many others since; on the whitemud our bus rocked violently from side to side and the driver sped up; and i wondered if he thought he was piloting a helicopter or Air Force One.

what do you mean, who the hell am i? who the hell are you? Monday, February 26, 2001 @ 09:21 p.m.

"oh my god, i don't have any foam needs!" -me, outloud, after hearing a radio commercial advertising to "meet all your foam needs"

i am ready for some james bondage Sunday, February 25, 2001 @ 10:31 p.m.

i just finished watching a view to a kill. it was kind of disappointing-- too many underdeveloped subplots, and roger moore was a dismal bond. i wonder if christopher walken ever had any choice but to play villains. also, question: are there any real supervillains as freaky-looking as him? Most really horrible psychopaths probably look totally normal.

you, me and the devil makes three Saturday, February 24, 2001 @ 03:00 p.m.

eleven CDs i've bought in the past week: Jackie's Strength- CD single/Tori Amos Happiness- CD single/Elliot Smith Songs 1993-1998/Moby This Desert Life/Counting Crows Reel Life Vol. 1/Wild Colonials Fruit Of Life/Wild Colonials Thong Song- CD Single/Sisqo South Side- CD Single/Moby with Gwen Stefani Whoa, Nelly!/Nelly Furtado 1/Beatles O Brother Where Art Thou- Original Soundtrack/Various artists - Q: Have you ever thought of what you'd need to live comfortably, or even to live without having to worry about anything? A: Yes. Hourly. First of all, I'm a buyer of lottery tickets. I mention this only so you understand what a recreational attitude I have toward money-- how it is largely fictional and anticipatory. Hey! This is me talking-- not Fran Lebowitz-- and this is me: I have a recreational attitude toward money! A fictional and anticipatory attitude! That's the perfect way to describe it. Q: You could make money writing for movies or television. Why don't you do that? Is it because you think it's selling out? A: It has nothing to do with selling out or believing that it's some lesser form of writing, both of which are perhaps outmoded concepts. It is simply because my main goal in life is to limit the number of irritating phone calls that come into my house. Q: People believe that with the collapse of the Soviet Union worldwide Communism died a sorry death, and that capitalism is clearly triumphant. Do you agree? A: Not only triumphant but rampant. Not only rampant but annihilating. Annihilating in the sense that because of this victory the disctinction between capitalism and democracy has been almost entirely eradicated. In the Soviet Union capitalism has triumphed over Communism. In this country capitalism has triumphed over democracy... -Fran Lebowitz, from an interview with Vanity Fair I'm not sure if this is necessarily true, but it is interesting. I would have to live in the United States, at least for a little while, before I could really generalize about the state of democracy there. The very existence of the electoral college (established by the founding fathers to prevent the US from being too democratic!) does seem a powerful suggestion... but then, any opponent could refer in passing to the Canadian Senate. I'm very anti-american lately, aren't I? It's because it's very cold here, and in the winter I'm jealous of the Unitd States-- at least the Southern US-- the climate! My God, the climate is undemocratic! - "and it rained, and we couldn't ride our bicycles, and nothing was ever good again!" -will and grace hey, everyone, don't forget today is Buffy Day. On Monday we return to work and school-- both, in my case. I'm so tired of being in my house. I need a vacation from this vacation.

when it's cold i'd like to die Friday, February 23, 2001 @ 10:21 p.m.

hello, little people! Friday, February 23, 2001 @ 11:00 a.m.

would you please stop sending me nonsense messages with my instanty-texty-messagy-boxy-thingy. yes, they do actually go to me. yes, i do actually read them. yes, i do actually feel really disappointed when someone emails me with something like "83>!<". oh, and something else? fuck off and die. i just got back from the bank, where i dropped off my credit card application, and from staples, where i bought a new blank journal and 2 glue sticks. i have less than fifty cents in my bank account but today is payday. i watched survivor last night. i'm glad they got rid of kimmy. she was a weak link. i whiny weak link. none of my CDs have arrived yet. i hate the canada post corporation. and jean can come and arrest me for treason or whatever, i will be happy because it will mean i won't have to work. reading week hasn't felt like reading week because i have had to work every day except 1 so far. (i also have tomorrow off). please, can we go see a movie, or improv, or go to the bar, or out for dinner, or even go shopping, or anything really, tomorrow? i have that overwhelming lethargic, i don't want to do anything or go anywhere i want to sit at home feeling, and i have to kick its ass. it's snowing, and it makes everything look so beautiful-- temporarily.

no questions asked just nude girls on cam.com Wednesday, February 21, 2001 @ 09:26 p.m.

(not cam as in cam-the-person-cam, but cam as in webcam) I am having a very bad day. for one, i was actually forced to spend money today. sigh. i have so far managed to get through reading week without spending more than $2-- other people bought me drinks, and i had a chimprov coupon, and so on. but today iewnt to the syria exhibit, and *gasp* it costs money. not just money but $$money$$, almost $10. for the fucking museum! i mean, did i miss something here?!? i am already paying about $4000 a year for university tuition, and i think that should cover every educational expenditure that you can conceive of-- if you can think of it, it's covered. having to pay for stuff that is good for me really seems like a huge rip-off. secondly, i killed the sea monkeys. i killed them. i tipped them over and cleaned them up with paper towel-- because it was 3 minutes to nine and i really didn't feel like a sea monkey rescue mission. i feel guilty. also, deanna is going to be mad at me. so, i mean, really, don't even talk to me. i'm a poor, exhausted sea-monkey killer and you should go read someone else's website.

without understanding Wednesday, February 21, 2001 @ 12:03 p.m.

you know, if you think about it, crackers are a really weird food.

your famous blue raincoat Tuesday, February 20, 2001 @ 01:39 p.m.

it's four in the morning, the end of december i'm writing you now just to see if you're better new york is cold but i like where i'm living there's music on clinton street all through the evening i hear that you're building your little house deep in the desert you're living for nothing now i hope you're keeping some kind of record yes and jane came by with a lock of your hair she said that you gave it to her that night you planned to go clear did you ever go clear? the last time we saw you, you looked so much older your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder you'd been to the station to meet every train and came home alone without lili marlene. and you treated my woman to a flake of your life and when she came back she was nobody's wife well, i see you there with a rose in your teeth one more thin gypsy thief well, i see jane's awake she sends her regards. and what can i tell you my brother, my killer what can i possibly say i guess that i miss you, i guess i forgive you i'm glad you stood in my way. if you ever come by here for jane or for me well, your enemy is sleeping and your woman is free yes, and thanks for the trouble you took from her eyes i thought it was there for good so i never tried. and jane came by with a lock of your hair she said you gave it to her that night you planned to go clear -l. cohen

all i wanna do is do you Sunday, February 18, 2001 @ 10:14 p.m.

it didn't taste too bad. i think instead of using beef stock i should have used cream of mushroom or cream of chicken soup. next time. malcolm in the middle was good tonight. i was going to watch the x-files, too, but the first scene just made me laugh. i used to adore that show but i think it has sort of, umm, outlived its focus. you know? i mean, you can only have so many alien babies and malevolent insects before you have to do something else, like having mulder and scully having sex. i really like the new nelly furtado single.

the one where i discover my inner culinary genius Sunday, February 18, 2001 @ 06:25 p.m.

recipe for fun, by jocelyn: this is something that i am going to stick in the oven right now. i am not that confident in its success. still, i wanted to share it with you because i made it up: Combine in a gigantic casserole dish: about 2 cups of frozen mixed veggies, 2 oe 3 cups of cooked chicken, and 3 or so cups of cooked rice (leftover rice and chicken are good good). mix these up with a wooden spoon or a sharp stick. Boil about 1.5 cups of water and add to them: 1 OXO beef bouillon cube, and 1 package of onion soup mix. stir these up real good to dissolve the OXO, then put the misture in the freezer to cool it down. Grate up an inordinate amount of cheddar cheese-- actually, come to think of it, any kind of cheese-- and sprinkle this artistically over the top of the chicken mix. Take the oniony-beefy-water out of the freezer and drizzle it over the chicken-cheese mixture. Top with instant microwave stuffing-- leftover if you've got it, but who's ever heard of leftover stuffing? Sprinkle on the top either or both: bread crumbs and parmesan cheese. Bake at 350 degrees (celsuis) for about half an hour. Eat while watching popstars, the simpsons, king of the hill, malcolm in the middle, and the x-files on global sunday nights. I'll let you know how it works out. remember, the key is not to let it stress you out. Meghan and I left for chimprov in such a hurry last night that we left simcity 2000 running on my computer. the year is now 11085 in the small city of Frank's Fritters, but oddly enough the city has maintained its population and has been making a slow profit for the past 20-odd hours. imagine humanity surviving until 11085! "I'm a money tycoon. There's a lot of money in... money."

A Toast Saturday, February 17, 2001 @ 06:43 p.m.

To Gods and heroes; losers, monsters, and mortals. Also, in no particular order: Mike's Hard Lemonade, old friends, past lovers, and relative strangers; light and impulse; loss; and Rhyme, Reason and Happenstance, three princesses with a penchant for pain. I think I've spent enough time tinkerking with this new design thingy now. I don't even like it, but I've spent long enough now that I have to sit here in bitter silence glaring at it for awhile. Angie: last night, you asked me "what's so great about me" or some such question, and here is the answer, which I promised I would remember and tell you about today, since you weren't going to remember: "Because you are a lot of wonderful packed into a small amount of body mass." I bet you liked my answer better drunk, didn't you? I know for many people this probably isn't such a grand day, but I feel wonderful. I discovered something really amazing last night--it had something to do with "gods and heroes; losers, monsters, and mortals," of course. If you ask nice I might tell you about it. Kisses for everyone.

Title Of Post Thursday, February 15, 2001 @ 02:44 p.m.

she comes back to tell me she's gone as if i didn't know that as if i didn't know my own bed as if i never noticed the way she brushed her hair off her forehead oh, no ! "Medical science proves that chronic Masturbation causes weakness, depression, forgetfulness and nearsightedness." I think this has to be a joke. It's too stupid not to be. Although, I think often fanatical people are kinda stupid. (I stole this link from papercup.) my wuthering heights essay is coming along quite well. I know I am a huge english geek, but the narrative structure of this novel is breathtaking. One year ago yesterday: "If you love someone, you should give them chocolate every day." -Meghan

l < subversive > ? boys [suck] i've been since march 1st, 2000!