"God, you're good. I think you have high spacial intelligence." -Some customer, after I crafted a custom-sized box for her in, like, three-and-a-half minutes.
"And today, to liven things up, I had a Vitamin C freak in my store. He buys his vitamins, opens the bottle on my counter, leaves all the packaging there, and downs two pills right in front of me after declaring, 'I need my vitamin C!' Sure you do, buddy. Just move along."
*
"Then we went to Garneau park, where a clumsy attempt to go down the slide ended in pain. I am still finding sand!
Oh yeah? Well I first linked to airtoons a year ago! Also, I got less drunk than you at our grade 12 grad (which was more than a year ago now as well-- how scary is that?). so there.
It's been another heartbreak day: rain, answering machines, and bad news. I guess there will always be days like this. I miss having my forehead kissed.
OK, this is trippy. It's just a big ole' list of all the people who got rutherford scholarship money the year i graduated, which is nothing too strange i guess... but seeing my name, and the names of my friends on the list, is surreal somehow. also, PDF files are the biggest pains in the ass of all the pains in the ass.
You know, I'm really not cool with girls who fish for compliments, especially from complete strangers. Especially girls (and women) who make comments about how fat they are, and this is followed by some pregnant pause in which you're clearly expected to protest and announce how jealous you are of them and their skinny-bitch metabolism. Well, screw off. I don't demand that other people constantly massage my fragile ego and I don't like playing that game with other people.
Deletia will now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
My manager and I have hatched a brilliant new plan to put Canada Post out of business: the naked post office. "It's like Canada Post, except everyone is completely naked, and every hour we all go out into the parking lot and hose each other down-- because we're all covered with dirt from the parcel bags." Hmm, yeah. Stay tuned for more developments. They better pay me more than $7/hour.
Question: why do malls never have windows? I mean, if you think about it, it's not like there's anything specific about mall architecture that precludes windows. Normal stores have windows. But malls... don't. I think malls are sick buildings because they're completely lit with this sick yellow light. If I was the president of the universe instead of being a roving pirate queen, I would make a law that malls have to have windows. Also, everyone would drink from stemware all the time and I wouldn't live with my parents.
I have a red crab finger puppet I got from Kites and Other Delights. Soon, my flamingo/crab/rocketshit finger puppet play will be ready. I also have a new white polo shirt which I got from Eddie Bauer, because I am a sucker for nice changerooms. It's very posh. I think posh is an excellent word. Also, it's the weekend. Time for fun! Games! Hijinks! Hooligans! Shennanigans! Pretty drinks! And circus people!
"Don't you have a TV at home?"
"It's too big. I have to turn my head to see who's talking. It hurts my neck!"
Y que ahora se presenta ante Ti sin ningun maquillaje
Sin Agente de Prensa
sin fotografos y sin firmar autografos
sola como un astronauta frente a la noche espacial.
Yeesh, I'm tired. I think I might skip Spanish tomorrow... it's an activity day, I fear it may be salsa dancing. I hate dancing although I like salsa. I like Juilio's Barrio salsa. Also their shrimp, which Angie always orders.
I have a new attitude towards freecell. i used to be all about the aces-- get them up and then systematically work on the cards that follow. no more. now i'm all zenny. a new freecell board is like chaos. you have to create order out of that chaos. you can't have a specific goal like the aces in mind-- your only focus should be on putting each individual card in between two cards of the opposite colour. i am on a twelve-game winning streak, because i am a genius.
and that is all. aren't you glad you visited my website?
"When you answer questionnaires you discover parts of
yourself that you didn't know existed because you pull them out only when a
Hip/PC answer is required... I mean I really, Really Love Copacabana by
Barry Manilow. But could I have said that up there? No I don't think so." -Angela McClusky, of the Wild Colonials
I would like to write a song. i mean, i've had my heart stomped on so... the hard part's done, god, how hard can it be?
Also in no particular order:
to publish a short story and
to build a treehouse
I would like it if everyone would compile a list for today of three things they'd like to do, or plan to do, or would do if nothing at all stood in their way. Karma points (I do have the power to give those out don't I?) for presenting this information in haiku format. Bonus karma points for emailing your haiku to me.
For some reason it seems logical that angie's Sim "franco bavaria" (or possibly "franco ba-varaia") would eat nothing but sausages. For some reason that strikes me as a most excellent idea. OK, I freely admit that for 99 44/100ths percent of people reading this, that will have no significance at all. Once again, I disregard my audience. Check me out, I'm on fire!
I still get the odd googler coming to this page searching for the lyrics to the billy bragg song "walk away renee," usually with the line "and then she cut her hair and i stopped loving her." the first time i heard the song that was the line i searched for, too. it's really a wonderful song, probably best enjoyed read aloud in your best english accent. The version of the song i have is a b-side from "levi stubbs' tears".
she said it was just a figment of speech and
i said you mean figure and she said
no figment because she could never imagine it happening
but it did
when we first met i played the shy boy
and when she spoke to me for the first time
my nose began to bleed
she guessed the rest
the next day we went on a bus ride to the ferry
and when nobody came to collect our fares
well, i knew then this was something special
i couldn't stop thinking about her
and everytime i switched on
the radio there was somebody else, singing about the two of us
it was just like being on a fast ride at the fun fair
the sort you want to get off because it's scary
and then as soon as you're off you want to get straight back on again
but all love is strange, and you have to learn
to take the crunchy with the smooth, i suppose
she began going out with mr. potato head
it was when i saw her in the carpark
with his coat around her shoulders that i realized
i went home and thought about the two of them together
until the bath water went cold around me
i thought about her eyes and the curve of her breasts
and about the point where their bodies met
i confronted her about it
i said "i'm the most eligible bachelor in town"
and she said yeah, that's why i can never understand
any of those silly letters you send me
and then one day it happened
she cut her hair and i stopped loving her
one year ago: "I'm sure everything would be fine if I were an evil overlord. They have it so easy: I bet they never have personal problems, have to go to their graduations, or sell greeting cards."
