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foggy 001

♥ "it's bad enough we get along so well..." -Imogen Heap

♥ Spike: If cavemen and astronauts got into a fight, who would win?
Wesley: Uh--you've been yelling at each other for forty minutes about this. [pause] Do the astronauts have weapons?
-Angel

♥ there's nothing like living in a bottle/
and nothing like ending it all for the world
-cat power, lived in bars

I can feel entries being added.
Monday, January 15, 2007 @ 05:03 p.m.

"Because of all the things that disappear. Safety pins, for instance. Factories go on making safety pins, and every day people go on buying safety pins and yet, somehow, there never is a safety pin just when you want one..."
-Mary Norton, The Borrowers, 5

I had to read this book for my children's lit class, adding it to the huge sum of books I read and loved as a child and am now revisiting. Each time I cautiously open one of these books, it is with a combination of anxiety and excitement: what if it's not as good as I remember? What if it is as good as I remember? The Borrowers is as good, and better maybe: careful, artful, seamless, and utterly believable. And also amazingly timeless, since it was written in the early 1950s.

In addition to reading this book from cover to cover, I also made meatballs today, and put them in my freezer. As far as I am concerned this constitutes a very productive day. And it's for school, you see, so it's fine. Well, the meatballs are not for school. Although I could eat them at school. If I wanted.

Also on the subject of books, I finished the fourth Traveling Pants book yesterday as well. (I shudder to write this, but I feel I must: Forever In Blue. Dumb title, I know. Don't judge!) I liked this book somewhat less than the previous ones, but still more than, say, a kick in the head. (As my mother likes to say.) What I like about these young women is that they have real-ish lives and INNER LIVES even, not the stereotypical "Shoes! Boys! School is hard!" mentality of so much fiction aimed at young women. (Or even, for that matter, aimed at older women. ahem Sex in the City ahem.) They deal with the kinds of problems that real people deal with. They have boy problems, yes, but also intellectual and creative aspirations, troubled families, and recurring personality flaws or weaknesses. They travel and learn things and get depressed. Also, in the most recent one, they have sex, and sometimes it is a good thing, and sometimes not; also they sometimes don't have sex, and that is sometimes a good thing too. The books don't talk down to their characters, or to their readers. For writing relatively non-patronizing and sophisticated young adult fiction, Ann Brashares, I salute you.

An interesting kind of art/library/found poetry project, from Nina Katchadourian: sorted books. I wish you could order prints of these photos. I especially love:

On a linky note: The ladies (and gentleman) of knitta are like craft ninjas.

I am in the process of trying to set up a new version of this blog, using blogger. My problem is that the good URLs are taken (one of them by someone named Jocelyn--how weird is that?!?) so I am exploring hosting alternatives. I mention this only so that, if this blog moves in the near future, I don't have a lot of panicked, rioting readers (well, OK, five panicked, rioting readers) feeling alienated and confused. You have been warned. However, the technical obstacles may prove formidable, in which case, you have been warned well in advance. But wouldn't it be nice to have working comments? And tags for entries? And permanent links to individual entries that don't involve hand-tinkering with HTML before and after archiving the page? Gosh, we can dream...

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you're dumb when you're drunk
Sunday, January 14, 2007 @ 04:28 p.m.

On Friday, I rode the bus to West Edmonton Mall and it happened to be one of Edmonton's two new hybrid (electric/diesel) buses. I was fairly excited about this.

Then when I got to West Edmonton Mall there were all these people gathered around to watch the sea lion show and I realized that life had returned to normal.

The reason I was at West Edmonton Mall, by the way, is that I bought new glasses. They are almost identical to my old glasses, only brown. I bought the second pair I tried on.

I bought the new Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants book, so all productivity will now grind to a halt. Fortunately, the aforementioned productivity was largely mythological anyway, so in the end there will be very little effect.

I couldn't think of the word "monolith" today, although I knew the word I was searching for was in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Then it suddenly came to me while I was washing dishes. I phoned James to tell him about it, and he sang, "monolith! monolith!" [That website, by the way, is a helpful resource for any Simpsons song aficionado. It includes lyrics to such Jocelyn favourites as "See My Vest" and the Springfield musical production of A Streetcar Named Desire. "You can always depend on the kindness of strangers/To pluck up your spirits, and shield you from dangers/Now here's a tip from Blanche you won't regret/A stranger's just a friend you haven't met/You haven't met.../STREETCAR!"]

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One long night turned into two long years -Patty Griffin
Wednesday, January 10, 2007 @ 04:26 p.m.

So, in word news, "pluto" (without the capital, at this point, I should think) has been chosen as word of the year, according to the American Dialect Society! I had never even heard this usage of the word (a verb, meaning to demote or devalue), but I'm going to start using it now. [Via 50 books]

It's the word of the year from last year, of course. 2007's word-year has just begun. I am thinking all the planets could be verbs. But what would they mean? I totally got earthed--I don't know what happened.

Personally, I feel a little sorry for Pluto. If I had a button machine, I would make buttons to the effect of "Re-Planefy Pluto!" or possibly "Pluto will be OK" (I thought I remembered seeing this somewhere, but that could be just my imagination. If I ripped it off from you, my apologies.)

I also continue to stand behind the Brontosaurus 100%. Don't worry, Brontosaurus! Jocelyn is behind you!

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Monday, January 8, 2007 @ 12:45 p.m.

Regret The Error is a blog that compiles correction notices from newspapers and other sources. It is quite amusing.

That's right, I don't post entries on weekends anymore. I am too busy partying.*

* doing laundry

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Friday, January 5, 2007 @ 09:52 a.m.

"The ethics of plagiarism have turned into the narcissism of small differences: because journalism cannot own up to its heavily derivative nature, it must enforce originality on the level of the sentence."

-An interesting article about intellectual property and plagiarism, by Malcolm Gladwell. From the New Yorker.

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We are going to learn, and grow, and share
Thursday, January 4, 2007 @ 04:41 p.m.

Note: after I wrote the last entry, I wrote one sentence of my essay, and then I went to the bookstore. The once sentence I wrote was:

In particular, I will reflect on my original goals for the practicum placement and how they were reflected in my experience; on how this placement has affected my understanding of the Library & Information Studies field in general; and on how it has influenced my own view of my career and my future professional plans.

I mean, yeah, it's only one sentence; but at least it's long.

Thus the new title for this page.

The book I wanted was not at the bookstore. The size of picture frame I wanted was not at Winners or Home Outfitters. The movie I wanted was not at HMV. I feel I was being punished. (Although I did buy a new shower curtain, some saucy greeting cards, a rubber cutting mat, and paper towels.)

What we have learned from this: 1. I should never be given scholarship money, because I will use it to buy frivolous household items. See frivolous maces, below. 2. Long sentences are easier to read if you replace commas with semi-colons.

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you were famous, your heart was a legend
Thursday, January 4, 2007 @ 12:24 p.m.

I know at least two people who need this shirt: Not enough RAGE!. But personally, I am partial to "/ignore".

If only it worked in real life. I would have an ignore list as long as my arm.

My desktop wallpaper is now Cat Power's PETA poster: "If you love them, spay and neuter them." So true. So socially conscious. And also sort of funny.

Jocelyn, write the reflective paper from last semester that you forgot about!
But what I really want is to walk over to the bookstore near my house... mmmm... bookstore.
Ok, ok, i'm going.

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Being the undisputed Blokus champion is not all beer and skittles.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007 @ 02:36 p.m.

Homer: "I'm feelin' low, Apu. You got any of that beer that has candy floating in it, you know, Skittlebrau?"
Apu: "Such a product does not exist, sir! You must have dreamed it."
Homer: "Oh. Well then just gimme a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles."

I had to write something in my agenda today. This means the symbolic end of Christmas holidays. Although the thing I had to write was someone's birthday party, so it's not such a hardship.

Blokus- official website of the most awarded game! This game is fun. I just bought the travel edition. Plus, now I kind of want to change to name of my website to "official website of the most awarded website."

I have almost bankrupted my world of warcraft character with frivolous mace purchases.

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"And a pickle for the lady."
Tuesday, January 2, 2007 @ 09:23 a.m.

Meghan and I went to see The Prestige yesterday and it was really great!

I almost just posted that as-is, one-sentence review, but I decided to elaborate on why I thought it was really great.

  1. It had that Victorian historical/science fiction feel without going over board, TONS OF OTHER MOVIES I AM LOOKING AT YOU. (Ahem. Van Helsing. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.)
  2. I loved all the meta-cinematic elements, the talk of "the audience" and the looks on their faces. The movie itself is a magic trick.
  3. I like movies where you learn more as you watch, and you are constantly re-arranging the pieces into the most coherent whole possible, and then a moment later revising your arrangement as something new comes to light. Memento was like this too.
  4. I am a sucker for Michael Caine. Not to mention Gollum and David Bowie!
  5. It allowed me to theorize, while in the theatre (theatreorize) about the hypothetical superhero match-up Batman vs. Wolverine and who would win. (And we are talking movies here because I know nothing about comic books.) Meghan and I agreed that Wolverine would undoubtedly win in straight-up fisticuffs, but if gadgets were allowed, then who knows? WHO KNOWS?

Oh, also: reading the comments and questions in the IMDB forums for this movie made me feel smart, because so many people didn't seem to get it. Some people should only be allowed to watch broadcast TV, and maybe on special days movies from the American Pie and Scary Movie franchises.

Speaking of theatreorizing: it's always amusing to eavesdrop on your neighbours' conversations in theatres. The couple sitting behind us had friends who arrived halfway through the trailers, and they had to update them on the trailers that had passed already, as in, "We saw one that looked like a good one, what was it called, honey?" "The Good Year." "With, what's his name, Crow." "Russel Crowe." "Yes. It looked nice." I was afraid these were going to turn out to be theatre talkers ("Who is that guy?" "What just happened?" "Wait, why did he do that?") but it was OK.

Speaking of theatre talkers: McSweeney's Lists' Things This One Girl Sitting Near Me in a Movie Theater Said Out Loud When One of the Characters Was Shown Pulling Into a Gas Station.. It's funny because it is true.

I bought a new flat-panel widescreen monitor and the world looks oh, so much prettier.

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those days i recall
Sunday, December 31, 2006 @ 07:02 p.m.

And I'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this
The reasons all have run away, but the feeling never did
It's not something I would recommend, but it is one way to live
Cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is
-Bright Eyes, Lua

Home.

I went on this expedition to Saskatchewan, and I listened to the Trois Accords song of the same name. (As well as singing along with the two lines of "Running Back to Saskatoon" that I actually remember.) Saskatchewan still feels to me like an incredible intimate landscape, one that I can remember seamlessly and concisely. At the same time, particular details diminish slightly as I am confronted with their reality. The loneliness and starkness of vast prairie covered with snow is perfect for end-of-the-year ruminations, by which I mean that it made me sort of depressed. I watched late-night TV and drove for what seemed like days and ate weird road-food and played Super Mario Land on my gameboy. I read a whole book, Skellig, and nothing else. The whole time since Christmas has been bizarre, the days bleeding together into a large unit of time that seemed simulaneously endless and quick. I saw my family, but I don't even want to stray down that path, the depressing, who-said-what-to-who path. I visited old friends and discovered new board games. Let's just say that I was happy to come home to my apartment, and a week's worth of real mail, e-mail, and World of Warcraft mail.

(Also, I can safely say that this year was the first birthday I celebrated and yet consciously felt depressed about growing older. I'm 24 and it's all downhill from here? Sound about right?)

Here is a picture of me wearing the pirate toque I got for Christmas. It is in black and white because I am pretentious. I guess this is the pouty face James claims I always make when I am having my picture taken. Also, I am going to get new glasses.

hat2

In the background you can see the IKEA mirrors I painted to match my kitchen. $ 9 decorating project!

Happy freaking New Year. Smoke and ash...

Those who say the past is not dead
Stop and smell the smoke...
You keep saying the past is not even past
You keep saying
We are, smoke
-Ben Folds Five, Smoke

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Merry Holidays, Polyps
Tuesday, December 26, 2006 @ 08:11 a.m.

[As the plastic letters on my fridge say-- all spelling attempts are limited by the fact that there are only 2 'R's, so we must be creative.]

I'm off to Saskatchewan, our fair province to the East, for a few days. Back around New Year's. Stay safe.

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her powers have declined
Saturday, December 23, 2006 @ 08:49 a.m.

The Non-Expert: Dear Santa. This is quite funny. At least, the beginning is, to be honest I didn't read the end. Sometimes I get the feeling I have minor, minor, minor attention span problems.

Also today is my birthday. I am 24 now. I think I liked being 23 better, so far. This is because I know I won't be getting what I really want: nuclear isotopes. Or kittens. I like kittens.

My head hurts. I may lie down on the floor now and think about being older.

OOh, I just discovered my headphone wire will reach all the way to the couch. Screw that floor business. This birthday is picking up.

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in which our heroine finally breaks up with Douglas Coupland
Thursday, December 21, 2006 @ 10:21 a.m.

JPod.

Ever since Microserfs, I have been wishing Douglas Coupland would write another book like Microserfs. Now he has, except it's all too intentional, as if he sat down at his iBook one day and said, "I am going to write another book like Microserfs. Except substitute circa-2006 cultural references for the early-90s cultural references. Oh, and I'll switch up the main characters' personality traits and names." ("And, because I have grown three times as pretentious, it will have to be three times as long.")

And it's all too ironic, too cheeky, too clever. The characters talk in this surreal way, referencing 1950s tv shows and google and junk food brand names and French philosophers in a single sentence, like no real person ever talks. He keeps name-dropping HIMSELF. The events of the story read like a sort of bulleted list of "ironic post-modern globalized society things that can happen to ironic post-modern tech people," and they are recounted in an emotionless, meaningless, bulleted-list kind of way. There is a po-mo line, and DC crossed it.

I never thought I would say this, but: Douglas, I liked your early novels and the National Film Board documentary based on your Souvenir of Canada books. I thought it was funny that your family believed you might have purposefully parked your car in a tree. But I don't want to speak to you again, or read any of your books; and I'm glad I got the most recent one from the library, so you don't get any more of my money. That's right, I know it's hard to hear. It's not like we haven't had good times. But you need a new schtick.

You need to stay away from me. I have been hurt by you one too many times. Besides, it won't be long before I find some other meta-fiction-writing, alienated pop-culture savant who I can trust. Don DeLillo keeps calling me and leaving messages on my voicemail.

Let's just try to remember the good times.

Yours,
Jocelyn

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MEtube!
Monday, December 18, 2006 @ 04:31 p.m.

I never knew Matt Damon could act, even if it is just acting like Matthew McConaughey. Seriously. I like him 300% more now. And I have this uncanny desire to watch Sahara...

I am very sick. Thus, the Youtube, chicken casserole that my grandmother used to make, and Wes Anderson movies. The only question that remains is: Life Aquatic or Rushmore? I think the second one, it's cheerier. The only thing that would make my evening complete is some better ice cream. All the calories that enter my body today have to be comforting, or I'm not having it.

How to build a cardboard castle. Oh man, refrigerator boxes. To kids they're like currency.

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More adventures in Wikipedia!
Sunday, December 17, 2006 @ 12:29 p.m.

New Glasgow together with the neighbouring towns of Stellarton, Westville, Trenton, and Pictou make up the province's fourth largest and most boring urban area.
-New Glasgow, Nova Scotia

I was going to edit it, but then I thought, I've never been there-- who am I to say?

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The Interweb, Big Brother-style
Sunday, December 17, 2006 @ 09:31 a.m.

zoominfo creeps me out. I'm on there, and so is my dad. How? No one knows.

Big Brother like George Orwell, not Big Brother like reality TV.

I'm really sick. I shall spend the day watching Veronica Mars and checking my World of Warcraft auctions, as that is all I am capable of. I wish someone would bring me some chocolate milk.

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I keep my promises.
Friday, December 15, 2006 @ 02:57 p.m.

urban outfitters
i want to buy your products
and i hate myself.

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A conversation I had in Chapters yesterday
Friday, December 15, 2006 @ 01:00 p.m.

"Do you have an irewards card?"
"No."
"Shame on you."
"I know, I feel just terrible about it."

Still to come: another short entry I will entitle, "A haiku I wrote about the experience of going to Urban Outfitters."

Tantalized yet?

West Edmonton Mall should change their slogan to: "Blog fodder."

I'm sick and I feel sorry for myself. But Kristen and I have devised a scheme for instant profit on our World of Warcraft server. Nothing says "Christmas" like gingerbread-cookie profiteering.

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First we take Manhattan...
Thursday, December 14, 2006 @ 11:02 p.m.

I haven't even read this yet, but I must link to it: Daniel Handler (aka Lemony Snicket) interviews Jack Black in The Believer. About weddings! Yes.

Edited a few minutes later: uh-oh. I am reading this interview and I am laughing and I am thinking about the pressures associated with being funny. And then I am downloading Henry Mancini songs on iTunes.

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Educating and enlightening the masses, one Wikipedia article at a time.
Thursday, December 14, 2006 @ 10:59 a.m.

I am addicted to the Wikipedia-article-writing process. However, at least I am not playing World of Warcraft. This is slightly more educational, I think. And I updated my webpage a bunch of times, did you see? I'm a superstar.

So this time it's pioneer Quebec feminist Marie Lacoste Gérin-Lajoie. I love these 20th-century Catholic Quebec feminists: they are holding placards for free milk for children in one hand and signs about women's suffrage in the other. They're not what we think of when we think of feminism. (I also like that all the wikipedia articles I have written so far have only been edited by others in the most perfunctory fashion, like to change "acommodate" to "accommodate"... they're obscure enough that they cause no controversy. I never can spell that word right the first time.)

I had to write this for work, by the way. So I don't just find missing wikipedia articles and write them from scratch. Although I'm not saying that would never happen.

Speaking of Catholics, here is a sort of funny blog written by a pretend nun: Ask Sister Mary Martha.

I am really enjoying two YA/children's books: Lois Lowry's The Giver, which is fabulous, and Eleanor Updale's Montmorency: Thief Liar Gentleman?. I LOVE children's novels: all the impact of a grown-up book, but you can read it in an hour or two! This has allowed me to beef up my 2006 reading list to 58 books since March.

For example, I tried to read Andrea Siegel's To Feel Stuff, which is a book for lame grown-ups, and I gave up on it finally. I have to really hate a book to not even finish it, but I really hated this one. Plus I disapproved of the author photo on the back. Jocelyn, imitating what I imagine the author sounds like, to James: "oh, i'm so young and hot and naked, and look! i wrote a novel!" James: "and I'm only, like, fourteen!" [I tried to find this photo, but it is not on her website. {which is actually kind of cool, i'm ashamed to say.} Traditional, shoulders-up author photo, only naked and scowly. You'll just have to take my word for it.]

Whatever. You don't see Lois Lowry screwing me around like that.

The iTunes song of the week is the Sarah McLachlan version of Silent Night, which kind of makes me want to throw up. I stopped liking Sarah McLachlan somewhere between the point where she singlehandedly allowed me to survive seventh grade with the gift of esoteric angst and gloom, and the point where she released a celebrity cookbook.

Christmas! I hung up a single silver Christmas ball. I also think I have some Christmas mix CDs somewhere, I should look for them. Let it not be said that I am not in the spirit of the holiday.
Be festive! GO!

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on the second day of christmas, my true love gave to me...
Tuesday, December 12, 2006 @ 09:27 a.m.

metafilter: I have about $20 to keep me fed until Thursday night. What do I buy? I love the thoughtfulness of people's responses. Someone even wrote a poem!

Wordie: A social networking site (of course) based on users' favourite words

From the new issue of Knitty: binary scarf. Unfortunately it is too late to knit this for Christmas, at least for me, because I am a slow and procrastinate-y knitter. But it's nerdarrific.

From defective yeti: board games! They make good presents, and are perfect for Family Fun Night. But remember: the co-operative ones are no fun. What are we, socialists?

I'm a little behind the times on this one: Edmonton is now the Murder Capital of Canada! I get murder updates from my mom, who in spite of living in the United States gets her news from cbc.ca. Apparently I am not supposed to leave my apartment.

Finally: ninjawords, a free online dictionary. I am partial to mirriam-webster.com, but this one has a much catchier slogan. "A really fast dictionary... fast like a ninja." Indeed!

I wasn't going to make a Christmas list this year, but I keep thinking of things I would put on said Christmas list, if it existed. I am trying to be less materialistic, but it's not taking.

I am also trying to do some actual, billable work, but that's not taking either. And my WOW server is down, so I really have no excuse.

As you were.

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Some articles should never get written.
Monday, December 11, 2006 @ 10:58 p.m.

Seriously. Sometimes I read things and think, you managed to write a whole article about that? Obviously you are scraping the bottom of the journalism-barrel. Perhaps you should have considered one of the old article-topic standbys: Watergate, Kids These Days (with their rock and roll and their makeout parties!), The Tragedy of Drug Addiction, Why Fashion Is Hilariously Irrelevant to Normal People, or Men: Afraid of Commitment?

Why Women Aren't Funny [from VanityFair.com]

My favourite part:

"Though ask yourself, was Dorothy Parker ever really funny?"

Um... YES?!?

I can summarize this article for you. "I hate to generalize. But women are generally more pretty, and men are generally more funny. And it's because of science." Of course, you know Serious Gender Research is being done when Rudyard Kipling enters the equation.

There, I have once again spared you the experience of reading something that may only make you angry. At least, it makes me angry. Can you tell? (Of course, ironically, the fact that I am now angry makes it more difficult for me to be funny... which I think I, in fact, am. Science be damned.)

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Deletia loves librarything
Monday, December 11, 2006 @ 11:39 a.m.

Two LibraryThing features that float my boat:
The author gallery: this link will show you photos of all the authors whose works I own! You can play games involving how many of them you recognize. You can also snarkily evaluate the photos and how authorial they really look. Jorge Luis Borges, Pablo Neruda, and Albert Camus: VERY authorial. Anne Rice: not quite authorial enough! And the Thomas Friedman photo is of his car. If it was a lexus, I would be impressed, but...
The UnSuggester: Books to stay away from. Series of Unfortunate Events aside, of course.

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turn it on, turn it on
Sunday, December 10, 2006 @ 01:43 p.m.

A craft project that caused me to say "aww! cute!" out loud: monster stockings [via not martha]

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I have the ability to control iTunes with my mind.
Saturday, December 9, 2006 @ 12:17 p.m.

Just so you know. Just now I was listening to the Be Good Tanyas' When Doves Cry (woo! bluegrass/roots Prince covers!) and I thought, I want to hear Jet Ski Accidents, but I was going to wait for the current song to end. And then it came on by itself.

What are the chances? one might ask, rhetorically. Well, 1/1054, one might answer, mathematically.

I saw the Be Good Tanyas last night. I was too tired to enjoy it properly, but I will say that they are probably the most musically-talented-sounding band I've heard in a long time. There are other bands I like more, and certainly other concerts I've enjoyed more, but their live music sounds delicate, perfect, and exquisite. Too delicate actually, maybe.

I am also listening to the Gothic Archies' Tragic Treasury, songs from the Series of Unfortunate Events audiobooks. They're hilarious. I love the lyrics--they have the same kind of cheekiness and punning and dreary attitude as the books.

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Including Serendipity, and Alex & Emma
Friday, December 8, 2006 @ 04:24 p.m.

I frequently accuse movies of being "the worst movie ever made," or "one of the worst movies ever made," but imdb has an actual list of the worst movies ever made, and I haven't seen ANY of them!

So the last two papers have been handed in. One of them, which was about Virginia and Leonard Woolf and the Hogarth Press, made me very depressed. Just before handing it in, I re-read it starting with the introduction, and I almost started to cry. The introduction had substance, it had conviction, it even had a little panache. It reminded me of the Before Time, when I used to do high-quality work. One could read the sections of my paper, rank them according to writing quality, and thus figure out the order in which they were written.

And that is a sad, sad thing.

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