black = new orange
deletia:

gloriously, orangely ugly. [I think it's fantastic. It looks like the 70s threw up!]

gotta make contact:

[archive]
email: jocelynb at shaw dot ca
[guestbook]

[explanation]
[tasty]
[buy]

there are other places you can go

i love love love love andrew for making the pitas server all fast and sexy

[angie] is a lot of great in a little body mass
i'm pretty crazy about [james]
[jeff] is an internet ninja
[jess] is my least-seen favourite person
[meghan] is the truck's stop

[pillowfort]
[swag]
[lopati]
[kerplink]
[mooselessness]
[galadriel]

[pick*y cosmetics]
[abe books]
[thinkgeek]
[emily strange]
[threadless]

[not my desk]
[green notebook.net]
[dinette.org]
[fresh hell]
[creepsville]
[sixfoot6]
[excitement machine]
[saturn.org]
[little yellow different]
[technicolor.org]
[inpassing]
[eric conveys an emotion]
[bluishorange]
[hyperenough.com]
[mary chen]
[bryanboyer.com]
[oh messy life]
[popsensation]
[exploding dog]

[booklend]
[penny arcade]
[fametracker]- the farmer's almanac of celebrity worth
[television without pity]
[cjsr 88.5fm]
[acts of volition]
i dig [douglas coupland]
[sneak preview] (best video store in edmonton)
[random access memory]
[the fray]
[shakespeare] online
[the onion av club]
[fifty fresh pitas]
[damn hell ass kings]
[girlboy]
[uber]
[atlantic unbound]
[chickclick]
[BUST]
[adbusters]
[art of the mix]
[red balloon]
[the new varscona] edmonton
[the sims]
[buffy] the vampire slayer
[wild colonials]
[airtoons]
[disturbing search requests]
[kvetch]
[hey! url!]
[u of a]- where i go to school
[plastic]
[envy.nu]
[divide by zero]- fonts
[google]
[1000 journals] project
[feels like] forecast
if you use multiple chat/IM clients you need [trillian]

l < subversive > ?
boys [suck]

i've been
fucking imood
since march 1st, 2000!

shock me shock me shock me with that deviant behaviour
Monday, April 22, 2002 @ 09:56 p.m.

I've been downloading semi-disposable IKEA furniture made of cheap SimPine for my Sims.

There was a lot of wind earlier and I think the world may have ended beyond my yard-- but if I go outside to check, I might catch it. It's safer in here.

Finals are going OK, I guess. I'm reading Catch-22 and waiting for them to be over so I can get on with all the nothing I have to do.

Engage me.

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nowhere to run to
Sunday, April 21, 2002 @ 05:24 p.m.

  • using the internet to find all the information i need to write my film essay (last. film. essay. ever.)
  • flipping back and forth between edmonton's two oldies stations, so i sometimes hear the same song twice within an hour
  • reading the penny arcade archives, now that i have high-speed and it doesn't take half an hour to load each page
  • being hungry

This list of things i'm doing today brought to you by the letters P and F, and the number pi™, which i can't find the symbol for anywhere.

So bored and... yet... ridiculously busy! See you after finals!

*

baby girl, you're gone/gone/gone...
Saturday, April 20, 2002 @ 12:28 p.m.

Well, I was researching for information on Wilfred Grenfell (for the book) but I got distracted (as I so often do) by scary Christian fundamentalist websites. The great thing about the internet is that anyone can make their contribution. The worst thing about the internet is that anyone can make their contribution.

I'm so bored with myself, I assume everyone else must be too. I find myself assuming everyone around me is sick to death of me, and nothing they can say or do will change my mind.

*


Friday, April 19, 2002 @ 12:08 p.m.

U of A people who forgot to pick up their registration materials because no one notified them: get your u of a email forwarded to your regular email account.

https://ldap.srv.ualberta.ca/ldap/profile/beta.cgi

It kind of makes me wonder: what, exactly, is friendly fire?

*

jocelyn, university ninja.
Thursday, April 18, 2002 @ 08:53 p.m.

Hmmm.... it seems that soc 101, a class I have taken this semester and gotten reasonable marks in, has a prereq, namely soc 100. Which i haven't, uh, taken, per se. who knew 100 level classes could have prereqs?

Does this mean I'm fucked with a capital T?

Yes, Jocelyn, that's exactly what it means.
And I wasn't even awake to enjoy it.

*

you can run, you can hide, but you can't escape my love
Thursday, April 18, 2002 @ 02:13 p.m.

I'm using Eudora 5.1 now, and it has a handy feature where it warns me if I am sending email that might be offensive. A little offensive is one chili pepper, pretty offensive is two, and really offensive is three. To see whether it works, I sent myself an email saying that I couldn't believe I had slept with my boyfriend and I was a dirty whore. My email client told me to wash my keyboard out with soap.

Also, it can block the sending of offensive messages for ten minutes, I suppose to give you time to cool down. Is sending angry email in a fit of passion really such a problem that email programs now have features to deal with it?

Neat.

*

"Last night was the end of this freak show."
Thursday, April 18, 2002 @ 12:56 p.m.

Zhang Ziyi's Visa commercial, via cheesedip.

From my new obsession, the encyclopedia fakebandica (link below), the Dr. Teeth and Electric Mayhem fan page. Electric Mayhem are the Muppets' resident band, and their rockin' tour bus is the transportation of choice for Muppet adventures.

One of the Muppets [I forget which one]: Kermit, you weren't waiting for some house-painters, were you?
Kermit: Yes, why?
Muppet: Well, they're just driving away-- Animal bit one of 'em!
Kermit [running out of the house after the painters' van]: Stop, guys, wait! He didn't mean it, he's just a musician!
Animal: Mu-si-cian! Mu-si-cian!

*


Thursday, April 18, 2002 @ 10:28 a.m.

"some people don't even know I'm a robot... they think I'm Puerto Rican and just... really good at math." -we are robots

*

who think their heads are made of earthenware
Tuesday, April 16, 2002 @ 07:13 p.m.

Rene Descartes is not immune to evil demon doubt, but I am.

I'm having a fun day so far, even if I am being forced to study against my will for an exam I don't want to write.

But I wish I had some better food.

I believe that is all.

*

if i were you-- and i wish that i were you
Monday, April 15, 2002 @ 10:40 a.m.

I need to apologize to all Edmontonians. The reason it's snowing is that I put away my winter coat yesterday. Yes, it's my fault, and I'm sorry.

*

all you want is right here in this room
Sunday, April 14, 2002 @ 09:15 p.m.

So. I had a sudden realization last night (over cream sauce and pasta-- isn't that always the way it goes?) that I only take Phil classes because I feel I should, somehow, and don't enjoy them. I've taken three so far, and I didn't really like any of them. So I have entered a new era. No more guilt-class-taking. I'm dropping phil 325 and picking up Spanish 360, Spanish literature in translation. How cool is that? That's the class I've been waiting all my life to take. And it fit perfectly into my alread-existing schedule. God is on my side, I'm sure of it.

Actually I believe that.

So anyway, buenas noticias. I know no one cares, but I do.

Also: I think this website is meta-ugly, because I have the option of making it look presentable, but I don't want to. I think I did a better job of explaining this to James last night, so if it doesn't make sense, ask him.

Hmm. Life is good. I feel guilty feeling like life is good when it so obviously isn't, for everyone but me.

Aha: the rocklopedia fakebandica, a comprehensive list of all the fake bands, ever. All the fake bands I could think of were listed. The internet is a glorious thing. (This is a very meticulous list. All the fake bands are there including Disaster Area [from Hitchhiker's Guide] and Dingoes Ate My Baby, Oz's rock band from Buffy who play "like they had large Polish sausages taped to their fingers." Damn.)

*

More Unfortunate Events
Saturday, April 13, 2002 @ 12:05 p.m.

"I am upset too, [Count Olaf/Captain Sham] said, brushing a tear away from beneath his eyepatch. "Josephine was one of my oldest and dearest friends."

"You met her yesterday," Klaus said, "in the grocery store."

"It does seem like only yesterday," Captain Sham said, "but it was really years ago. She and I met in cooking school. We were oven partners in the Advanced Baking Course."

"You weren't oven partners," Violet said, disgusted at Captain Sham's lies. "Aunt Josephine was desperately afraid of turning on the oven. She never would have attended cooking school."

"We soon became friends," said Captain Sham, going on with his story as if no one had interrupted, "and one day she said to me, 'if I ever adopt some orphans and then meet an untimely death, promise me you will raise them for me.' I told her I would, but of course I never thought I would have to keep my promise."

"That's a very said story," Larry [the waiter in the Anxious Clown] said, and everyone turned to see that their waiter was still standing over them. "I didn't realize this was a sad occasion. In that case, allow me to recommend Cheer-Up Cheeseburgers. They pickles, mustard and ketchup make a little smiley face on top of the burger, which is guaranteed to get you smiling, too."

"That sounds like a good idea," Captain Sham said. "Bring us all Cheer-Up Cheeseburgers, Larry."

-A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Wide Window

*

PS
Friday, April 12, 2002 @ 04:10 p.m.

I have to admit, I'm proud of this layout. I've reached a new level of orange, here. Yes, it's unattractive... perhaps annoyingly so... but it has a certain charm. I think. Thoughts?

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postmodernity is for wimps
Friday, April 12, 2002 @ 02:56 p.m.

OK. I think the time has come to reveal... no, unveil!... my creative new email address! it is "jbadley", then an at sign, then "shaw", then a dot like this (.) then "ca". I am making a really concerted effort NOT to get a zillion tons of spam every day with my new address, so thus the spy tricks. (also it makes me entry look more substantial.)

Two things worthy of my (and your) notice:

a. metro cinema is having an independent Canadian film festival this weekend. The first show is only $6 for students. You should go-- I'm going to. For more info go to the metro cinema website (the metro is the theatre in the citadel)
2. this is a very neat lending library that operates through the mail. I should donate some books. Once I have some money, I will.

Quiz: Which Internet Quiz Are You? [from Michael Wood.com]
More quizzy fun: Guess these peoples' names. [from Twistypants.] I do this sometimes in public places, just to amuse myself.
I know I lose real indie web cred (as opposed to fake indie web cred) for posting a link to McSweeney's, but I have to: because I love McSweeney's lists. Yes I do.

Hmm. Now that I have highspeed I imagine I will spend even more time browsing for useless but diverting things on the internet. Or less time... hmmm.

Now, what are you doing inside? Go and get a sunburn, like I did yesterday!

*


Friday, April 12, 2002 @ 09:23 a.m.

Hey everyone!

Changes are taking place in the Jocelyn web-universe. I switched to high-speed (happy smily face) but my dad cancelled my other ISP service a little prematurely and all my images and files that were on their server are, well, gone. (sad, angry-face.) So it might look crappy, but that's because it is crappy.

Anyway, I have to go to school. I'm not dead and I'll be back later today to fix things up here, hopefully. Don't give up on me!

PS. I have a job interview on Tuesday!

*

today's special: Jean-Luc Godard subtitles
Wednesday, April 10, 2002 @ 02:39 p.m.

A Fish that cannot dance the minuet deserves contempt.

Thank you.

*

you are not as ______ as you think you are
Tuesday, April 9, 2002 @ 10:14 p.m.

Hi!

I'm in a blissfully happy mood this evening. In an act of arbitrary privacy-protection, I am not going to tell you why. It has something to do with high-speed internet, though.

James and I went to see the movie Kissing Jessica Stein last night. I liked it a lot because it was funny. My only complaint with it was that (like a lot of other movies and books about lesbians) it made it seem like girl can just choose to be gay because they're tired of unsympathetic men who don't know anything about lipstick. This is a fallacy. I don't know any women who "decided" to experiment with other women because they were sick of men. Or because they thought it was hip. (Well, OK, I did know one.)

So (subtly completely changing the subject) my dad has been complaining, ever since the teachers' work-to-rule move, about his stapler. His classroom stapler is broken, the school has no extras, and he's not allowed (now) to spend his own money on classroom supplies. He even wrote a letter to Ralph Klein about it, and some of his students (apparently) protested at the Ledge with a sign that said, "Get Mr. Badley a stapler!" Well, today Lyle Oberg's office sent him an email asking for his mailing address. Apparently they're going to send him a stapler. I just hope it has "Office of the Premier" embossed on the top.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love Ralph Klein. The guy is a laugh a minute in this crazy province.

I wrote a haiku for the penny arcade contest, and I even submitted it, but it bounced! So instead I will share it with you:

seasons changing
it's never spring here.
it's like I'm in Narnia.
I hate Canada.

That is all. Have a good night and drive safe.
Love,
The Channel 4 News Team

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