get yoself some pita, bitch

left column haiku
this left column is
basically always ignored.
poor, poor left column.

the pita- related stuff
[archive]
[current]
[taglines]

peripherals and all about me
[a boy]
[a girl]
[links]
[list]
[music]
[pictures]
[buy me stuff]
[email]
[guestbook]

my friends
[alex]
[angie]
[chandra]
[courtney]
[jeff]
[jess]
[meghan]

basically, a bunch of unsorted links that i visit with varying frequency
[fifty]
[freespeech]
[disturbing search requests]
[damn hell ass kings]
[thinkgeek]
[fun!]
[pitas]
[uber]
[popsensation]
[girlboy]
[exploding dog]
[eric conveys an emotion]
[charged]
[chickclick]
[atlantic unbound]
[u of a]
[divide by zero]
[adbusters]
[emily strange]
[art of the mix]
[red balloon]
[plastic]
[the new varscona]
[BUST]
[the sims]
[google]
[canada post]
[kvetch]
[bluishorange]
[amplified to rock]
[malcolm in the middle]
[buffy]
[hey! url!]
[mary chen]
[bryanboyer.com]

and what sad personal site would be complete without webrings?
l < subversive > ?
boys [suck]

i've been
fucking imood
since march 1st, 2000!

maximum love in a minimum world
Saturday, May 26, 2001 @ 10:10 a.m.

That is all.

What, you were expecting content?

I'm making a new tape. It has all my favourite songs on it. But a tape with all my favourite songs on it doesn't do me much good, since I already know them all. I should give it away-- to a friendly-looking businesswoman on the LRT or to my spanish prof or to... well, anyone really.

Additionally, I think we should go to remedy tomorrow night. We haven't been there in awhile. We can pester the bartender about AB vs. O type blood again.

New sims add-ons: a urinal! Just what I have been wanting!


Saturday, May 26, 2001 @ 04:33 a.m.

We just drove out to the airport via ellerslie road. What a creepy part of town! these blank, soulless houses, all the same beige colour with brown siding, which face onto pure, undriven freeways-- huge windowless churches like factories-- the purposeful greenery, the simmy sameness of the weather. I never, ever want to live in a house with no soul out in the middle of some field.

on the way home, we stopped by IKEA and I bought 225 candles, which obviously i am really going to need now that summer is here and it's unpleasantly hot all the time.

Damn. I missed towel day. (Link via this boy is toast)

When I woke up this morning, you were on my mind
Friday, May 25, 2001 @ 10:38 p.m.

And my whole house was filled with light. But when a blocked long distance caller phoned me at 8.15, I was NOT a happy camper.

ALso, I apologize for last night. That didn't make sense. Lo siento.

you wear my grin and you wear it so well
Friday, May 25, 2001 @ 11:11 a.m.

I'm very desorganizada tonight. you have been warned...

@ work this afternoon: "It's still hot, although we had a thunderstorm last night. The air outside is saturated with the heady, kind of sickening smell of flowers."

"I have smock pockets... smockets!"

*

bluishorange: "there are things like where you keep your brand of detergent are you allergic how do you eat spaghetti when you were little in your secret heart what is just before you fall asleep you think so many tiny bits of information about a person that it is next to impossible for another person to know all of it"
i want to tell you all of it

You were like something my heart invented to keep me from ever being alone again
Hmmm... I get to go to the citadel on sunday, and hopefully to the fountains of the ledge tomorrow con mis amigos, and to one last improv show before this improvaganza thing ends... but I never, ever want any of it to end. There are these nights that are like magic-- I want water and vanilla jelly beans and happy meal toys and sunshine and seratonin-- I feel like I've spent the last eighteen years waking up. Believe me, if you knew me, you would fall in love with me.

*

I know I'm off on another tangent, but it's springtime so you'll have to forgive me: "My mind then wandered. I thought of this: I thought of how every day each of us experiences a few little moments that have just a bit more resonance than other moments-- we hear a word that sticks in our mind-- or maybe we have a small experience that pulls us out of ourselves, only briefly-- we share a hotel elevator with a bride in her veils... And if we were to collect these small moments in a notebook and save them over a period of months we would see certain trends emerge from our collection-- certain voices would emerge that have been trying to speak through us. we would realize that we have been having another life altogether, one we didn't even know was going on inside us. And maybe this other life is more important than the one we think of as being real-- this clunky day-to-day world of furniture and noise and metal. So just MAYBE it is these small moments which are the story-making events of our lives."

Hey, I've said it before, I'll say it again.

*

one year ago: "Public service announcement: the word 'definitely' is spelled DEFINITELY. There is naught an 'a' to be seen. How hard is this, people? You can make multi-layer tables and you can't spell 'definitely'?"

"We ordered Chinese food for supper. I always think I like Chinese food, and then I eat it and remember that I don't. After supper I realized, 'Chinese food makes me sick,' and for one very confused moment I thought I was a member of the blink-and-you-miss-them lite hip-hop band LFO."

Hmmmm....
Thursday, May 24, 2001 @ 10:24 p.m.

also, remember when I used to have lots of pictures of us up on my site in nicely put-together pages and then Crosswinds shut down my account and nothing was good ever again? Well, the joke's on them, because I just put up a new page! Yeah! Hah! They should have known better than to challenge me to a battle of wits!

Right.

So...

new pictures
actually, all those old pictures are still accessible too, they're just... not as nice. they're in my ISP account. one of the sets starts here, and one starts here,and here is something unrelated but cute from a long time ago. Now that I've done the responsible website-thing, I can sleep peacefully.

sweet you rock &
sweet you roll
lost for you i'm so
lost for you

Thursday, May 24, 2001 @ 09:35 p.m.

all you have to do is answer this deletiaTM trivia question:

  • What two writers dies on the same day in November 1963 as JFK?

First correct answer emailed to prolix@unforgettable.com wins an envelope full of stolen Canada Post stickers, a mixtape made by me, and the chance to win an all-expenses-paid vacation for two to Puerta Vallarta, Mexico!

More Disappointment, with special appearances by circus people
Wednesday, May 23, 2001 @ 05:28 p.m.

I got an email with the subject line, "I LOVE YOU AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!!!" and I got all excited because, let's face it, it's always nice to hear that someone loves you and doesn't want you to die. But then I opened it and it was some kind of weight-loss thing. Phhhht.


Wednesday, May 23, 2001 @ 08:17 a.m.

hey all y'all
Monday, May 21, 2001 @ 09:34 p.m.

the fray does some pretty cool shit online, and you can buy stuff, which i never knew. i love stuff.

ron sexsmith: so, so whiny! whyever did i buy this CD?

"whyever": one word or two? I say one, spaces are for pussies.

God made weekends because he loves us
Monday, May 21, 2001 @ 02:16 p.m.

I spent my whole long weekend eating Froot Loops and reading Harry Potter. And that's a good thing.

Also, I'm bored to death of this website. That's probably not a good thing, but who cares?

Fire Up Your S E X Life
Saturday, May 19, 2001 @ 08:00 p.m.

I think I might have accidentally fired my sex life.

The Corporation Hates You
Thursday, May 17, 2001 @ 01:55 p.m.

Helpful tip for the day: to abuse the Canadian mail system, switch the addresses on all your letters and mail them without a stamp. When CPC sees that your letter has no stamp, they'll return it to sender-- your correspondant's address. Note: this doesn't necessarily work if you mail to out-of-town addresses: why would someone from Calgary be mailing letters from Edmonton? Also, don't try it with parcels: they'll deliver it to you (the addressee) and collect postage due on delivery.

You didn't hear it from me.

Your Bitter Corporation Correspondant,
Jocelyn

Oh boy!
Thursday, May 17, 2001 @ 09:03 a.m.

The end of the internet
Thursday, May 17, 2001 @ 08:56 a.m.

Gracias para nada
Wednesday, May 16, 2001 @ 02:11 p.m.

"I mean, how many guys that you have a crush on actually talk to you?" -Angie

Last night I had a dream I was in marriage couselling. I was married to this guy I had never seen before and we were having problems. I guess this just goes to show that if you marry someone you don't know-- someone your unconscious invented-- the relationship probably isn't going to work out.

I. Totally. Want.

one year ago: "I'm not pregnant, by the way. In a way I wish I were. It would be an excuse to duck out of my relationships and start something new."

two years ago: I was talking about pure lipid sauce: mmm!

"On Tuesday the new Destiny's Child CD comes out. I might even wait until Wednesday to buy it. See? I'm my own person." -Pamie on Hissyfit

Question: what kind of dumbass names their kid "deletia"? Also, why don't more people use the word "dumbass"?

And finally: "Can't Fight The Moonlight," that coyote ugly song by leeann rimes, is the most disgustingly catchy song ever. i hate myself but i can't stop singing it.

I love you. please send me some email.

i'm martha fuckin' stewart
Tuesday, May 15, 2001 @ 11:29 p.m.

My observation for Tuesday: cooking late at night in your underwear while listening to The Beatles is fun. Of course, I am the single least organized person in the first world, so I had to make two seperate trips to the store (eggs and chocolate chips); also, I DO live with my parents, so the underwear thing was more just a suggestion for others who have slightly more hip living arrangements: cute spouse, stray cat, cousins from foreign countries, roomate, etc. If only I lived with those two guys from PERFECT STRANGERS I could bake in my underwear all I wanted!

I think I'll leave you with that thought. Goodnight, friends, and remember: some day, when this Spanish class is oer, I may have a life again... but don't count on it.

PS Angie: I do in fact loooooooove you.

reciclar es bueno para el medio ambiente
Monday, May 14, 2001 @ 08:19 p.m.

"Thunderstorms are the sexist weather. Did you know that? Everyone thinks of sweltering heat as being sexy (like, people wandering around in little bathing suits, long, shaven legs, drinks in stemware, sand in gritty places, etc. etc.) but if you think about it, doesn't heat just kind of turn you off? It's so muggy you don't want anyone to touch you. You want to lie, as still as possible, in an oversized teeshirt.

But thunderstorms often come with the breaking of heat. There's the drama of the sound and light, and the additional factor of falling water if you're outside. Your hair gets wet and sticks to your face and you might as well just take off your shoes."

*

That was a year ago. Also, I was almost single. Today I spent two hours going downtown and coming home again. Sometimes I hate public transportation.

Meghan and I went to see SOMEONE LIKE YOU. It was cute and fun. However, I can't help but notice that I am smart and funny and together and lonely and possibly almost as cute as Ashley Judd, but I am not making out with Hugh Jackman. In fact, he never even calls me. Obviously something should be done. Isn't there a bureau I can contact or something? I mean, this just isn't right.


Sunday, May 13, 2001 @ 03:57 p.m.

Has anyone else noticed that there is no longer such thing as temptation? I mean, it exists, but it's become an outdated concept because no one sees anything wrong with just giving into it, all the time.

Ceci n'est pas un weblog
Thursday, May 10, 2001 @ 10:48 p.m.

Well, it isn't. It's nothing. Nada.

When I was very small, we used to take cartrips to north battleford to visit my grandparents or to moose jaw to visit my parents' friends. we would drive home late on sunday nights. My sister and i would each fall asleep in the backseat of our white k-car, one of us on the floor and the other stretched out on the seat. at that point in my life we had child-sized navy-blue sleeping bags with rocket ships and meteors printed on the fabric. i hated them because they were "for boys". anyway, on these long trips home in the backlit-blue darkness, we would fall asleep with the strange patterns of light from headlights of oncoming cars dappling our faces, alternately putting us to sleep and jarring us out of peace. i think if i were to die tonight that's the memory of earth i would take away with me: rocket-ship sleeping bags, the lights of oncoming traffic, my parents talking softly in the front seat.

anyway, i'm tired tonight and for some reason i'm feeling nostaligiac and lonely. i haven't done any of my spanish homework yet, and i don't know if i will. i'm not sure whether i've ever mentioned it, but my bed is the most wonderful place in the world.

Hmmmm... also, I would like to say I am loving my intersession class, but the fact is I'm exhausted and I have a vaguely nervous feeling in my stomach all the time. Spanish anxiety. Well, not totally Spanish. No more on this later since, let's face it, you are 25,000 complete strangers. As much as I love and adore you, I need to work on my "intimacy problems" by not telling everyone everything.

Lots of words look better with 8s randomly inserted into them: every8thing. See what i mean?

And then, because there are no good conclusions (not really), I suddenly stop writing in the mid

enter The Mothership Collective
Tuesday, May 8, 2001 @ 10:44 p.m.

Juicy Celebrity Gossip only on deletia

"Is that Benjamin Bratt?"
"No, that's Jimmy Smits although they're the same person."

There you go. You read it here first.

"She'll come in wearing plaid pants and some weird leather top and a bizarre hat with dog ears on it, and I'll say, 'What is that?' She'll say, 'I got this hat for only a buck and a half, can you believe that?' and I'll say, 'Yes, I can, it has dog ears on it!'"
-Eric McCormack, on Debra Messing's fashion sense

OK, I might be alone on this one but I think that's funny.

Hmmm... I'm not stressed, no not at all, hey, you look pretty!

OK bye.

arggggh!
Monday, May 7, 2001 @ 11:27 p.m.

lock up your cute spanish-speaking friends, it's... ROBOJOCELYN!

I made her at the Land's End website. I guess superficially she looks like me, and she is technically supposed to be the same size as me (I didn't lie! I knew lying to RoboJocelyn was like lying to myself!) but somehow... she carries herself better, maybe. Anyway I have more fabulous rock hair. You guys aren't going to ditch me and start being friends with RoboJocelyn, are you? She's boring: all the likes to do is try on swimsuits.