typing through my tears
Monday, May 29, 2000 @ 04:48 p.m.
I'm not actually crying, but trying to apply to the U of A is almost bringing me to tears. I picked the courses I need and was feeling all good about myself until I realized that I'm supposed to construct my timetable myself. So that my courses don't overlap, but I don't have too too much time between them; so that I can get from one building to the next in the time I have between classes; so that I can meet my core requirements. I can't register for university, because I am a big fat wimpyhead.
On a happier note: my mom is cooking, and my house smells really good, and outside my dad is mowing the lawn. I could be in an episode of Leave it to Beaver or The Brady Bunch, except that my life is almost never this... well... seemingly perfect.
Also: I took an actual sandwich to school, and eating it, I felt like such a together person-- like I could easily control all the other aspects of my life. It's the little things that can keep you together, I guess.
Did anyone know what invection meant?
Am I the only person who emails notes to themselves?
Technology.
if irritation or chafing occurs, discontinue use
Sunday, May 28, 2000 @ 08:17 p.m.
oooooh, sexy. I have to channel this energy somehow.
Today is not a healthy day.
Overheard: "cause you're, like, not a girl if you don't have a cool wardrobe."
So, uh, what am I?
Is it just me, or does the fact that I work JUNE 3rd AND 4th total bullshit? If I'm going to the aftergrad party (wherever it is and whoever it's with) I don't think I want to go to work the nexy day. Urrrrgh.
Not that I want to go to the fucking aftergrad party at this point, anyway. I'm so antisocial. It's not funny.
I should just go to sleep now even if it IS only 8.30, because it will make me a nicer person tomorrow. I can't get used to this lifestyle. I mean... i don't know.
Please hold me.
sunday morning coming down
Sunday, May 28, 2000 @ 04:07 p.m.
Chris, Meghan and I went to see American Beauty yesterday. Is it too late in the game for me to tell you how great-- and at turns edgy, smart, funny, beautiful, uplififting and sad-- this movie is? And could I mention that I now adore Kevin Spacey? Did you know that the domain name "www.thorabirch.com" is still available?
The world outside smelled wonderful, like smoke and rain, and the sky was uniformly grey. We sat on our bench and talked for a long time, until our hands got cold. Chris and I are the only people I know creative enough to come up with a problem like this one. I am so confused and scared. And indecisive. imood isn't going to cut it today:
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
, 
, 
,
, 
,
, 
(except for this list, naturally),
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, 
,
, and 
. And I am also, as always, 
.
I should probably admit that I don't know that "lovelorn" means, or "quixotic" either for that matter. Additionally, I'm not cavalier, but I like the word.
Like everything in this life, it reminds me of a matchbox twenty song: don't just stand there-- say nice things to me...
I'm sure everything would be fine if I were an evil overlord. They have it so easy: I bet they never have personal problems, have to go to their graduations, or sell greeting cards. (link via foaf.)
I made some new Sims: six sorority sisters. They were created as potential wives for Mister Duality. I wonder how they feel about that? It's not quite as bad as being born to donate your organs, but it's similar... I mean, if you really think about it.
There's Ryan, the sexy, outgoing, well-liked blonde; Macy, the serious overachiever; Emm, the jock, complete with track pants (remember tearaway condoms?); Jane, the wild-and-crazy party girl; Leah, the nice, somewhat overweight sidekick character; and Maddy, the completely normal, boring, average one. And all of them want Mr. Duality with all their SimSouls.
unfortunately, they go around shouting at the air and waving their arms a lot ever since their TV was stolen.
splink link
Saturday, May 27, 1995 @ 02:05 p.m.
inspired by natalie of move, copy or edit: ten things that would make jocelyn into a happy happy girl. (arranged not in order of importance)
I. If Angie would call me [Angie did call me, just as I was about to type that]
II. extreme weather.
III. A swimming pool in my backyard.
IV. a backrub
V. using Roman numerals
VI. not having to work anymore
VII. cargo pants
VIII. really, really comfortable underwear
IX. Tokyo Express
X. a nap.
XI. better communication between the sexes.
XII. being able to count.
At the store today:
CUSTOMER
Do you have any graduation cards?
JOCELYN
If we do, they would be on the far wall.
CUSTOMER
Yes, because that's where the cards are. [insert withering look]
Well, excuuuuuuse me. This is my third day on the job. If you're so stupid that you can't find the graduation cards, then what entitles you to talk to me like that?
Mental note: salespeople are people too. [I put the PEOPLE back in salespeople!]
Toby has a peg-leg now.
contentautomatic : shinyandnew
Saturday, May 27, 1995 @ 01:16 p.m.
I got to use the countout machine-- TWICE! joy!
current (content substitute)
lip balm: peach
teeth brushed? yes
weather: brewing into something deliciously tasty and fabulous
what am i going to do today? i don't know yet
hours worked: 15.5
mood: ambivalent bored
project: deletia grad extravaganza (it is going to be very exciting)
i like: one-hour photofinishing
i hate: having no money
i need: new pants
i also wish I had: a bandana, a heavy sweater, fish, a grad dress (oops), cool shoes, the new matchbox twenty CD, someone to rub my feet, and a hardback copy of the cider house rules
i love: angie
homework: essay (grrrrrr)
fucked up: computer memory (the new 32 megs of RAM we got is apparently incompatible with the computer for no reason other than that it is so. So. so, we have to special-order new memory, this is going to set us back about $25. i want a newer pentium. this 166 frustrates me when i try to play THE SIMS.)
my sim: has been burgled. burgled burgled burgled. her TV is gone! and her chessboard! but then, she never played chess, anyway. the SimJocelyn has no friends because she is a bitch. Not even that slut Bella Goth.
they should make Sim countout machines, eh?
listening: homesick, train
What happens when we run out of coal? No more barbeques?
Placeholder.
liquid. glass. fortean. vessel for light.
soap.
you can never go wrong, with a little soap, that's what i always say say say.
Saturday, May 27, 1995 @ 08:19 a.m.
this guy is like a character in Microserfs, and for that reason I really like his website, especially since it's now in English, not latin.
I woke up early beacause a plant fell near my head, but that doesn't matter, because I have to go to work soon, anyway. I'm off at 1 or more likely noon. Someone please entertain me. I want to see my friends.
colour me excited
Friday, May 26, 1995 @ 06:28 p.m.
Oops, I did it again: I gave away my underwear!
Britney Spears and I are both giving away bustiers in a contest. She and I have a friendly rivalry going, and we both want to know who has the most devoted fans. But if you do win mine, you have to wait until after grad to pick it up, okay?
I shamelessly stole this link from running red lights, and you know what? I don't even feel guilty about it.
My hands look nice today. I keep admiring them as I ring in tampons and bunion pads and chocolate bars. And cigarettes. Grrrrrr.
i scanned my hand
Yes, I have freaky, crooked mutant fingers, and yes, they are cute.
in which i become a TV producer
Friday, May 26, 1995 @ 05:52 p.m.
Today, experiencing the exciting, dramatic and passionate side of life in a busy drug store, I was struck by a revelation. Considering the success of the television show ER, why not make a spin-off series, Drug Store! We could show the stark reality of the daily dramas in this exotic setting-- where children crave Beanie Babies, Pepsi products and toilet seats for invalids are purchased, greeting cards are discounted, busy women buy headache medicine, small amounts of money are won in the lottery, and old men try to flirt with me. Sure, it is missing a few of the elements that have made ER such a success-- like for example death, life, excitement, painkillers, those heart-reviving electrical paddles, needles, folding beds, and George Clooney-- but I think the element of drama is definitely there. What goes on here are the most basic operations of human life-- something everyone can relate to. Want to get in on this project? Just send me some email. I think we could become very, very rich. And then Eriq La Salle will want to have sex with us. And that will make us very, very happy.
I was on my feet from 9 until 5.30 today, and I am ready to kill someone. But other than that, it was okay. My main problem seems to be with cigarettes. We carry 27 brands, each of which offers variations on the common theme-- light, filters, and so on-- in different sizes. Plus cigars, papers to roll your own, and chewing tobacco. It makes me very, very confused, until finally I just tell the person to point, which makes them think I am stupid.
[This is a simulation.]
CUSTOMER
one package of de Maurier extra light regular.
JOCELYN
these ones?
CUSTOMER
no, regular. those are king-sized.
JOCELYN
These ones?
CUSTOMER
No, EXTRA light, not extra smooth.
JOCELYN
Have you ever considered trying a different
addiction, such as lottery tickets?
CUSTOMER
Can I speak to your manager?
JOCELYN
I hope your alveoli become so coated with tar
that your blood cells can play basketball.
Now for the bad news. Sir Toby Belch, Baron von Schnauzerpug, rocket-puppy, dog of the future, iCanine (Toby Won Kenobe to Angie) has a broken leg. My dad broke it (accidentally) when playing with him this afternoon, rushed him to the vet, who put it in a little puppy-splint. My little 5-kilogram ball of slobbery shoe-biting love is incapacitated and very spaced out on puppy painkillers. He is lying next to me as I type this, quivering strangely, dreaming (no doubt) hallucinogenic dreams. It's a bit heartbreaking. The doctor says he'll be fine, although he may require a pin in his leg. My other dog had a pin in her leg, oddly enough, although it was a different leg. It's the circle of life.
What exciting events are taking place tomorrow for my amusement? I have to work from 9 until 1 although supposedly I can count out at noon. The countout machine is endless fun for me. Almost fun enough to make me want to work.
it's like...
Thursday, May 25, 1995 @ 08:39 p.m.
...i'm working for something i can't see and sometimes don't even believe in...
We ordered Chinese food for supper. I always think I like Chinese food, and then I eat it and remember that I don't. After supper I realized, "Chinese food makes me sick," and for one very confused moment I thought I was a member of the blink-and-you-miss-them lite hip-hop band LFO. Then I remembered that I am Jocelyn, original (pre-Jeff) founder of the I Hate Jocelyn Club, fuck-up extraordinaire, roving pirate queen, warrior princess, president of Stray Productions, etc. etc., and with the return of my identity I experienced much relief.
discouraged and without hope
Thursday, May 25, 2000 @ 05:16 p.m.
Someone please email me (or phone me) with the following message: Jocelyn, you will not be selling lottery tickets and living with your parents for the rest of your life.
I think I hate my new job.
I told you I wanted to work at Staples.
Public service announcement: the word "definitely" is spelled DEFINITELY. There is naught an "a" to be seen. How hard is this, people? You can make multi-layer tables and you can't spell "definitely"?
Sorry. Your regular, cordial service will now resume.
i support Jocelyn's emotional health
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Want to join the I Hate Jocelyn Club? The headquarters are here. And until I get my act together and start updating again, you can play with yourself in the archives.
