"So when do you use a semicolon? As we learned in the comma chapter, the main place for putting a semicolon if you are not John Updike is between two related sentences where there is no conjunction..." -Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots and Leaves

Sorry to tread on your patience my dear/my heart might be willing by this time next year/I can't make you wait 'cause I long to be forgiven -neko case, porchlight

Jocelyn: "I'm always interested in how smart girls are portrayed in the media." [pause]
James: "I'm thirsty."
Jocelyn: "Wow, I think that moment just summed up our whole relationship."

"The/Gauge of a good poem is/The size of the love-bruise it leaves/On your neck." -Hafiz


email me:

back to!
enthusiastic and committed to customer service
Saturday, May 7, 2005 @ 10:37 a.m.

I am the only google hit for "i would never sleep with a republican," in quotes. OH BOY!

I am becoming very interested in solar power.

Danny Strong, Jonathan on Buffy, is on Gilmore Girls now. Oh, and he's 31 years old.

Jobs applied for today: 6. Does "mature" mean "mature", or does it mean "old"?


it's been a long time, superfriends!
Thursday, May 5, 2005 @ 09:45 p.m.

I just wrote a nice long entry, and then I deleted it by accident. It was full of wisdom and wit. It might have been the best thing I've ever written. Oh well!

"That man was Aldus Manutius the Elder (1450-1515) and I will happily admit that I hadn't heard of him until about a year ago, but am now absolutely kicking myself that I never volunteered to have his babies... The heroic status of Aldus Manutius the Elder among historians of the printed word cannot be overstated. Who invented the italic typeface? Aldus Manutius! Who printed the first semicolon? Aldus Manutius!"
-Eats, Shoots and Leaves-- I realize I'm a little behind the times on this one, but I don't read best-selling books until they've been best-selling long enough to be included on the reading list of a class at the U of A, used for one term, and then consigned at the bookstore where I work. Usually this process takes at least 8-10 months. However, my love for the semicolon is endless; it's my favourite punctuation, even though lots of people seem to think it's going out of style.

"Well, how does eighty-eight dollars on consignment sound?"
"Better than ten dollars [on buyback]!"
"Yes, it's at least-- [pretending to perform mental calculations] five times more." -Me, and a student selling her books at my store, who instead of laughing at my incredible cleverness looked at me like I might be retarded.

I am looking for a job, always looking. I feel poor and frightened. But on the other hand, Meghan's boyfriend Jon set aside some matching silverware for me, and the other night at a dinner party someone asked me, "Well, what do YOU think of the metaphysical poets?" (This is exciting because most people, when they find out I have an English degree, are more likely to ask: "And what do you plan to do with that?" as if I have a stubborn venereal disease) and at my volunteering yesterday (at the Centre for Kids Who Can't Read Good) a little girl obediently touched my "Please TOuch My Monkey" shirt. I went to see the Hitchhiker's Guide twice. I know the secret to life, I know the secret to life/I'm OK when everything is not OK

I wrote a note to myself in my book: How did someone who used to be so sure of herself get so lost? You don't know, do you? You're not going to help, are you? Oh well. At least it's nice outside. And some of my text is purple; that's something.


you've got to let him go
Tuesday, April 26, 2005 @ 10:23 p.m.

I am listening to death cab for cutie, because it's very comforting. it's been a long time since a day that made me want to just lie in bed with a quilt and a heating pad, but such is today. it was raining/hailing earlier, and i want to open my window-- except i have only recently (finally) gotten warm. i never do anything, and i don't know anything, at all. and i feel terrible.


it makes me feel famous
Monday, April 25, 2005 @ 09:02 a.m.

prettyhair 024

i am always orange, just like everything i ever buy for my (hypothetical) new apartment is orange.

prettyhair 019

i can't help it, i'm compulsive. i see the river and out comes my camera. it's one of the things i love about this city, it's organized around something beautiful.


you have made me smile again
Monday, April 18, 2005 @ 05:46 p.m.

in fact i might be sore from it
it's been awhile...

My mutual funds are performing like ass these days. Stupid portfolio.

Oh man. I've been waiting YEARS to say that. My whole life, maybe.

I love all-consuming, and I wanted to put it back on my page, but it keeps freezing things up. The times, they are a changin' over there, JAVA-wise. I'm considering making a secondary kind of page I could update with my recent books and movies-- not so much because I'm conceited enough to believe the whole world cares what I'm reading, but more because I think it's a good way to connect to people. As in, "YOU love early Britney Spears? I love early Britney Spears!" So in the meantime I have been consuming:

  • The movie INSIDE DEEP THROAT, which was extremely interesting. I like documentaries, unless they are boring. And porn is never boring, sociologically speaking!
  • Al Franken's LIES AND THE LYING LIARS WHO TELL THEM. It made me laugh. I like political books written by non-politicians, because I trust them more; also there's a very funny chapter about pretending to be interested in attending Bob Jones University.
  • FAST FOOD NATION: this is one of those non-fiction books that seems to have made the leap to genuine popularity, and I can see why, it's very clearly written and meticulously researched. It could use some Al Frankenesque humour though. Come on, slaughterhouse conspiracies are HILARIOUS, given the right treatment.
  • Abha Dawesar's BABYJI, a book that had gotten a couple of really good reviews and that I thought would be (a) better and (b) sexier than it was. Disillusionment!
  • A couple of fun children's books that I read to Caleb: BEWARE OF STORYBOOK WOLVES and WHO'S AFRAID OF THE BIG BAD BOOK?, both by Lauren Child, they're fun and meta-fictional and when I read them there are voices. And accents. Oh yes.
  • I was reading Nick Hornby's SONGBOOK, which is a pretty good read especially considering I bought it for $4, and since reading it I've listened more or less nonstop to two songs: Ani DiFranco's YOU HAD TIME, and Aimee Mann's I'VE HAD IT. Neither is new, but they're new to me, and I've become obsessed with them as if they were new.
  • I finished all the books for my vampire course, and none of them were particularly good, except I rather liked a couple of books of criticism: Nina Auerbach's OUR VAMPIRES, OURSELVES, especially. The worst of the lot was actually INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE. I was surprised by how assy it was: pretentious and boring. Considering what a bestseller it was, I expected it to be better. It must have been the Tom Cruise Factor.

Tonight I'm sewing and watching ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND. I own this movie and yet I never watch it. Everyone I know seems to be too busy to hang out with me, and I'm actually really happy, because it allows me to make these kinds of plans for my evening: (a) eat nachos (b) watch jeopardy (c) check my email many many times (d) make craft

I got a really good, sturdy box, which is going to become my first moving-out box. I am slowly collecting things for my (hypothetical) new apartment, and now I am going to put them in this marvellous box, and it will make me feel like I am making progress. So far I have a frying pan, orange ovenmitts, turmeric, and salt-and-pepper shakers that look like glasses of Coke.

I am having a really good day. I know I'm boring when I'm happy, so feel free to go away.


we'll form a family band
Sunday, April 17, 2005 @ 12:57 p.m.

Assorted barely coherent notes from books and notebooks:

"Perhaps there is someone reading this who is saying, 'Give me a break, Al. I don't care about pigs, or pig shit, or family farms, or mountaintops, or this pfiest-a-mahoosey, or the environment.' To you, I have this to say: You were not legitimately elected president, sir. But I respect the office you hold, and I'm honoured that you're reading my book." -Al Franken, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them

"In the world of zero and one, self-immolation was a simple act. Fire, a purifier. Violence, an unrefined response to the complex machinery inside the head that manufactured a thousand kinds of sordid poison-- each corrupting and vilifying, dislocating, blaspheming, decapitating, and corroding the universe of feelings that arose in the human breast... I too wanted to embrace the simplicity of binaries, one large sun and another small, circling each other, smug in their combined efficiency. A grand, utterly destructive gesture made more sense than repetitive small episodes of pain." -Abha Dawesar, Babyji

"now it's like a mental palimpsest, something overwritten repseatedly with my own conceptions from the past and present, a mental image of something that never existed. It's one of my greatest frustrations that the true events of the past are so obscured by time, until they become vague connected ideas and particular sensations: warm sunshine, pain that makes me bite my tongue, the blind of the camera flash. How do we know what the past means if we can't even remember it properly?"

If there is magic everywhere, then what does it mean for something to be magic?

I'm going to fix this migrating page soon. But not today.


i used to be a superhero
Thursday, April 14, 2005 @ 10:29 p.m.

A fun website I learned about from bitch magazine: lets you know which companies support which political parties (in the US). Now, granted, I'm a self-proclaimed bleeding heart liberal, but I would NEVER sleep with a republican, so this is a helpful resource.

I used to have cheap hair. Now I have "indie party chick" hair.


gonna set your soul on fire
Wednesday, April 13, 2005 @ 09:39 a.m.

prettyhair 010 prettyhair 008

I love flickr's search tag function. it's so meta. so here are: all the photos tagged with "streamers."

My professor write the following comments on my Buffy paper: "This was fastinating, making good use of both the criticism, and a knowledge of the show's complete run that almost frightens me..." Alright! I got a "frightens"!

I used my digital camera to take a picture of Anya's pretty season 4 hair to give to my hairdresser tomorrow. My digital camera knows how to take pictures of the TV screen-- sort of.

On the same note I enjoy going back in time and seeing what I was doing in the past. Three years ago today, for example, I was reading A Series of Unfortunate Events. Four years ago, I was quoting Shakespeare. Five years ago, I was making puns on the name of Stalin. Really, nothing ever changes. It's sad. I changed my mind: I HATE the past.


ecstasy at any price
Monday, April 11, 2005 @ 05:28 p.m.

so, at 6.30 tonight (in roughly one hour) i will be writing the last exam of my undergrad degree. and getting back the last paper. and then that will be the end of everything. isn't it insane? I feel kind of lost without looming academic commitments. perhaps i should consider grad school. hey, i'm one step ahead... of MYSELF!

so on saturday, meghan and courtney and i watched many many episodes of X-Files (Court has season 1 on DVD) and drank "Bram Stoker's Citrus Delight" (a deilcious drink made with juice concentrate and vodka) and painted our nails. It's funny how much more fun typing is when you have painted nails. I feel like a receptionist in a very professional organization of some kind. we discussed how eugene tooms, the bone-dislocating lier-eating guy, probably never even made an attempt to fit in in normal civil society: "like, did he even explore the alternatives to liver eating?" I enjoy my few chances to condemn the obviously outrageous, as in, "I think breaking into people's houses and killing them and eating their livers is so wrong."

i'm trying to get another job. i'm just debating whether i am willing to be a barista of some kind. probably not, given the shudder that just went through my body as I typed the word "barista." i wish someone would hire me to do something stupid, like play that fireworks game on popcap.

I am using the computer lab at the university library and i miss pretty firefox multi-tab browsing. I'm like "new WINDOW? I don't want none of that shit!" and internet explorer is like, "suck it up."


i know you are waiting, and i know it is not for me
Sunday, April 10, 2005 @ 08:42 p.m.

I took my bike out and put some air in the back tire; and a man I didn't know told me, "nice streamers!"

put on your spurs
stagger around
in the desperate kingdom of love
-pj harvey

i updated my links page, oh yes indeedy. i always forget to take off stuff i no longer care about.

i'm thinking of making my own shower curtain out of a blank shower curtain and some pretty vinyl letters, possibly sparkly ones. the question remains, though: what to write? I was thinking of "for tomorrow we die" (the lesser well-known second half of the expression "eat, drink and be merry"). too macabre?

sub-question: is there any such thing as 'too macabre'? this from a girl who gets compliments on her streamers.

I am planning to move out in about 2 1/2 months and get my own place. suddenly i am in this weird domestic hoarding mode, where I want things I never thought I needed, like a microwave. I always thought I only needed books, but that turned out to be propaganda. I'm just a domestic robot; I just never knew it until now. Fortunately I'm still planning to write saucy things on my shower curtain, and cross-stitch a pillow that says "if deck is salty there will be lashings," so obviously I'm still the same girl underneath.

What a relief.


from the state of kensas
Friday, April 8, 2005 @ 12:54 p.m.

Does anyone want to start a hip group weblog with me? Only applications from genuine internet hipsters will be considered; you have to be smart and funny. ugly is OK though. and if you have a pretty flat-panel mac like the one i am writing this entry on, well, more power to you.

i logged in to the government of canada website to find out if they had processed my tax return yet. According to my account, they don't owe me anything. They were like, "Refund paid, April 11, 2005." And I was like, DUDE! April 11th hasn't happened yet! You can't claim something has been done IN THE FUTURE! That causes grammatical problems.

I'm in a super-happy mood these days. I'm not sure why. it may be the looming promise of summer: pretty slushy drinks, flip flops, reading outside, taking my dog down to the river. Today to celebrate being in a good mood, I bought doughnuts and shared them with everyone at work. Because in my brain, if I'm buying one doughnut, I may as well buy 6.

moving ever downwards, and not metaphorically,


they're not booing, they're chanting "DAVE!"
Wednesday, April 6, 2005 @ 05:23 p.m.

Hi internet.

Two movies that I declared to be "pretty much the worst movie ever made" in the past week: Closer, Sin City ("Why can't Robert Rodriguez use his powers for good instead of awesome?")

Two movies that I watched again and really liked: The Virgin Suicides, The Gunfighter

The Virgin Suicides is such a strange, sad film. When it was over, James asked me, "what was that movie about?" and I had trouble coming up with an answer, at the time. But I was thinking about it later and this is what I wrote (by "thinking" I mean "writing," because the two are practically the same to me):

I didn't say this, because I'm wary of being one of those jerks who always thinking everything has an intensely intellectual explanation... But I think it's about women, about their containment-- the Lisbon girls are this high-school pre-feminist fantasy, sexy but chaste, living in a qualor of underwear and perfume bottles. And ultimately they're desirable-- that's why the neighbourhood boys have to be in it, it's their obsession-- but that ideal cannot hold. It destroys them and everyone around them. So in the end it's about 'crisis': femininity in crisis, environmental, social, every kind of crisis. The 1970s-ness of it is not accidental, in fact it's inseparable. The movie is about what we used tow ant, and how we don't want it anymore, but we still feel nostalgia. Because even though it was destroying us, it seemed so pretty-- visually the film is a dream-- we wish we could go back there, just to visit. The movie is trying to tell us we can't, and furthermore we don't want to. What we want is not what we need.

"So much has been said about the girls over the years. But we have never found an answer. It didn't matter in the end how old they were, or that they were girls... but only that we had loved them... and that they hadn't heard us calling. Still do not hear us calling them from out of those rooms... where they went to be alone for all time... and where we will never find the pieces to put them back together." -the narrator (which is Giovanni Ribisi I think)

The way their house is depicted reminds me of this old powm we read in intro English, about... (help me out here Internet) a woman's dressing room, all the disgusting filth that is required to keep women beautiful. It might have been pretty much the most cynical and bitter poem ever written, and now I don't remember what it was called or anything. But clearly this fantasy about women goes back a long way. To English 100, at least.

Some random information: I saw a trailer for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and it looks super. It's coming out in only a few weeks! So that's quite exciting. And Trillian is the sister from Almost Famous. We'll see about that! - It's finally getting warm about, and being happy about that consumes pretty much all my time and energy. - Last week Meghan and I ate dinner at the IKEA cafeteria and that was pretty strange... STRANGELY DELICIOUS! - I saw Alex and he's not a nihilist anymore, so I'm happy about that. They don't believe in anything - my dad brought me retro hip posters from the British War Museum. I like anything cheezy and old - I figured out how to reprogram everyone's car and phone clocks - on Monday night my professor uttered the following phrase, which I wrote down in my notebook because it seemed to have a nice rhythm to it: "The nosferatus' DNA dreams" - ...

Everything is creeping away from me, not the least of which: the actual text of my webpage.


i feel so used
Monday, April 4, 2005 @ 05:07 p.m.

Jocelyn: Does anyone want to read my Buffy paper?
Everyone: No


CRAFT! pt. 2
Friday, April 1, 2005 @ 07:26 a.m.

craft 002 craft 001


Wednesday, March 30, 2005 @ 06:51 p.m.

but i'll never get that disease
cause i've had it
i've had it
-aimeee mann

i'm hesitant to add updates because i've noticed that every time i add an entry, another hard return gets added to the top of the table where the entries are. mysterious, no? my web page is an e. nigma.

you know, it's the total small things: i got this little craft punch from michael's, it punches star-shaped holes in things. it's so emo. here is what you get when you use it: 1, a little piece of paper shaped like a star; 2, a larger piece of paper with a star-shaped hole in it. both of these, worthwhile causes. i also have a sticker-making machine, so if anyone wants me to make them some star-stickers, just send me an email. i'm not kidding.

I recently remembered I know how to cross-stitch so I am currently making a little sign that says, in pretty blue letters: "If deck is salty there will be lashings." Pirate-theme crafts are the best. I don't know why lately I've been in total "making stuff" mode. it's not like i even really want to; i just feel compelled. I am trying to keep away the following things: enough time to think too hard about anything, boredom, darkness, fear. With embroidery thread and paper stars. Go figure.

I anticipate new photos as soon as March is over and flickr will allow me more uploads. Less than 48 more hours! I know you're wetting yourself with anticipation.

my grandfather has his own domain name now.


jocelyns who are not me
Sunday, March 20, 2005 @ 11:20 p.m.


hello, world
Wednesday, March 16, 2005 @ 01:02 p.m.

I finally finished Chris Turner's exhaustive cultural history of the Simpsons, "Planet Simpson." It's a great book that took me months of five-minute sittings to read, but fortunately it's the type of book you can pick up and put down without major confusion-- in fact, you can probably start reading at any point and read to any other point and still get something out of it, like geometry. This passage quoted from David Foster Wallace's essay "E Unibus Pluram: Television and U.S. Fiction" really interested me:

The next real literary 'rebels' in this country might well emerge as some weird bunch of anti-rebels, born oglers who dare somehow to back away from ironic watching, who have the childish gall actually to endorse and instantiate single-entendre principles. Who treat of plain old untrendy human troubles... with reverence and conviction. Who eschew self-consciousness and hip fatigue. These anti-rebels would be outdated, of course, before they even started. Dead on the page. Too sincere. Clearly repressed. Backward, quaint, naive, anachronistic... The new rebels might be artists willing to risk the yawn, the rolled eyes, the cool smile, the nudged ribs, the parody of gifted ironists, the 'Oh how banal'...

This is an interesting idea to me, because frankly, I'm often more ironic than I'm really comfortable with. I think maybe we all are, or we should be. Irony allows us to be in the world, to interact with it, without embarrassing ourselves; but how is that an advantage? In the long run, as a species, do we really want that? Well, nothing means anything. But at least we weren't embarrassed.

Meghan and I went to see IN GOOD COMPANY last night and I have two things to say: 1, it's hilarious to me that Dennis Quaid seems really angry all the time, even in the movie's more tender moments (and when a smile breaks through it looks like a grimace); 2, Guy from the movie: "When I look at you, what I see is this." [holds out two hands with fingers wiggling slightly] Meghan and Jocelyn, at the same moment: "spirit fingers!?"

Email me, it's my day off,


those girls who smile kindly/then rip your life to pieces
Monday, March 14, 2005 @ 05:28 p.m.

I am rather more pleased with the way things are looking now. We're not from the 1970s, after all. Does this look really funny in anyone's browser or screen resolution? I just came to the lab at school, and there were words bleeding away behind images and things. I think I fixed it with some of the clumsiest HTML in the world. Don't look at my source code-- that's like trying to get a look at a girl's underpants.

I found myself on-campus so I made some notes on Buffy for my final paper. All the good vampire books are already out of the library. Stupid time-management classmates. I'm at a disadvantage, because as far as I'm concerned classes just started three weeks ago. It would never even occur to me to start working on my term paper any earlier than today. And also, in the timeline in my head, my undergrad degree is only just underway. Underway in the sense that's one paper and one final exam short of finished. I wish I had a better sense of things. That's the problem with real life not being a montage.

I'm working on a new art project, which is something I haven't done since high school. I'd forgotten how much I love having a hot glue gun in hand. I have no artistic talent whasoever, but I do enjoy building things out of foam and cardboard (much as I did when I was 7), and that seems to be the direction my art always goes in. In high school art I was always coming up with these extreme conceptual tactile projects, which would then be poorly executed. I am making two collage posters with fabric and pattern tissue paper, on foam I got from Home Depot. I will post pictures, maybe, when I finish them. For right now they're bright insulation pink, but one day they don't be. I saw an article in a magazine on using old tissue paper sewing pattern pieces as a collage on a wall, but I don't remember where I read it. What should I use? (a) diluted glue (b) acrylic paint extender (c) some kind of varnish with a matte finish


what I have definitely not been doing
Wednesday, January 12, 2005 @ 10:46 p.m.

  • listening to madonna and spinning around in my chair. just like a prayer! in my chair! you know i'll take you there!
  • sitting around work playing freecell
  • eating so many cookies i feel kind of sick
  • using the work laminator for personal use
  • filing my taxes
  • updating my website
Nope. Pas moi. You must be thinking of some other girl.


she smiles way too much
Wednesday, March 9, 2005 @ 06:13 p.m.

definitely not spring 001


ain't nothing but a party girl
Tuesday, March 8, 2005 @ 10:27 p.m.

"Are you a mommy?"
"Are you a teacher?"

-a little girl at my volunteering job, and me

that is a good question, though. What AM I doing here? Exactly?

Hey, internet?

I keep making these to-do lists, but nothing gets crossed out