i hear orange is the new orange

black = new orange
now available in tangerine!

"Oh, I terrorize the nice bears, of course. Sometimes, just once, I would like to be the hero, the good guy who everyone loves. But it just never happens like that." -Christopher Walken, on his new Disney movie


gotta make contact:


there are other places you can go


[pick*y cosmetics]
[abe books]
[emily strange]

[little yellow different]
[the pillowfort]
[eric conveys an emotion]
[mary chen]
[oh messy life]
[exploding dog]

[fametracker]- the farmer's almanac of celebrity worth
[television without pity]
[stickernation]- on hiatus
[cjsr 88.5fm]
[acts of volition]
i dig [douglas coupland]
[sneak preview] (best video store in edmonton)
[random access memory]
[the fray]
[shakespeare] online
[the onion av club]
[fifty fresh pitas]
[damn hell ass kings]
[charged]- gone, perhaps forever
[atlantic unbound]
[art of the mix]
[red balloon]
[the new varscona] edmonton
[the sims]
[malcolm in the middle]
[buffy] the vampire slayer
[wild colonials]
[disturbing search requests]
[hey! url!]
[u of a]- where i go to school
[divide by zero]- fonts
[1000 journals] project
[feels like] forecast
if you use multiple chat/IM clients you need [trillian]

l < subversive > ?
boys [suck]

i've been
fucking imood
since march 1st, 2000!

for the 19 years i didn't know you i still loved you for them all
Sunday, March 17, 2002 @ 11:35 a.m.


Highly committed website-runner-type-person Jocelyn here, giving you my twice-weekly boring glimpse into my life. Why? GOOD QUESTION! Seriously, though, I haven't been a very inspiring journal-keeper, obsessive-archiver, or paper-emperor lately. My fault, my fault, totally. I'm not going to apologize, but I am going to assure you that I am alive and kicking. (James: "kicking people isn't going to get you anywhere." Jocelyn: "Not kicking people hasn't gotten me anywhere either." Also: Meghan: "You shouldn't kick people you love.")

Moving along... I went to see the band stirling last night, their CD-release party. They were amazing. Today I've been making nuclear-green play-doh. That's about it really. Oh yeah: I'm not wearing green (for St. Patrick's Day) because I like getting pinched.


Can I have my breakdown now?
Thursday, March 14, 2002 @ 10:18 p.m.

"How are you?"
"Fine. Fine. Finey McFine fine."

The Jocelyn update: I sleep all the time now. It's terrible. I'm exhausted. I think I'm still catching up from my time in the UK. (By the way: some kind of excerpts-from-my-trip-journal + pictures thing to come, when I get around to it, no guarantees.) I have this urge to just watch TV for the rest of my life. I know if I give into it and go downstairs, the rest of the semester will pass by without me.

I wanted to take intro Tibetan but they aren't offering it next year. Those bastards. I also wanted to take: two film classes (one about the French new wave, and one about Westerns) and an english class about children's fantasy books. I never, ever want to leave University. My future, or lack thereof, scares the shit out of me. (In case you missed it: I declared my major as English, just as the internet decreed. Rodeo was a close second.)

Of course, I may still fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a stripper... stay tuned!

Oh yeah: I too am now addicted to the marvel that is penny arcade.


it's not somebody who's seen the light
Wednesday, March 13, 2002 @ 06:34 p.m.

Wow,it's uncanny. So immature, but somehow appealing. (from quiet resonance.)

dream sex. (warning: jungian psychology. via hey url)

Hmmm... I steal all my links. Also I hate all you people.


Wednesday, March 13, 2002 @ 06:09 p.m.

If I think too hard, I might realize nothing I do has any significance whatsoever and stay in bed for the rest of my life. So, I don't think.

Seriously, though. I mean, what was the last thing I did that actually mattered at all? See what I mean?

God, that's awful.


nothing important happened here today
Monday, March 11, 2002 @ 07:23 p.m.

Even though I don't care at all about school, I've decided to buckle down and do some actual get-off-my-ass work, since the alternative (getting lots of bad marks) is even less appetizing. In this spirit, I am trying to catch up, one subject at a time. I'm currenly only about 1.5 weeks behind.

My parents are having another one of their parties this weekend. Call me a bad teenager (I'm 19-- am I still a teenager? Discuss) but I love my parents' parties. Great food, little children to talk to, and usually some funny jokes. However, this makes me miss James, who is always a willing Jocelyn's-parents-party participant.

Hmmm... it's almost time for a new black notebook, Volume X:

Hmmm... I had also found some other interesting things I had been going to tell you (had been going? You like that? There's more where that came from!) but I've strung together a number of words here already tonight, using punctuation and often topic sentences. So, maybe later.

Cool stuff: brownies + my mom, magazines coming to me in the mail, Alex's "literary society," my sociology professor, Dr. Seuss (the man is my hero), planning my schedule for next year, the smell of fresh coffee beans, studying in bed, Dido, and books. I love sitting in my room surrounded by my books (350 or so? Too many for one room) because they are like comfortable old friends. I reread just the bits of them I like, and sometimes I read new ones. I have a huge pile of books I've been meaning to finish beside my bed (No Logo, Stephen Leacock, Technopoly, james Thurber, White Noise, and The Lexus and the Olive Tree) but a book for my history class takes precendence.

Anyway, I know that was boring. But I don't care. I have a permaheadache and thinking about my books cheers me up.


an ode on leftover pizza
Monday, March 11, 2002 @ 02:26 p.m.

I have never eaten an olive. I'm not going to try one until someone tells me what they are. Vegetable? or what? It seems like one of those food products that just wasn't meant to be eaten. Like capers, or rat poison.

In other news, there is no other news.

Oh: that new Brandy single is the most god-awful song (if you can really call it that) that I have ever heard.


I knew the internet was missing something.
Sunday, March 10, 2002 @ 07:24 p.m.


if you want it, come and get it...
Sunday, March 10, 2002 @ 05:39 p.m.

Liam, from my Sunday school, lying on his back: "I can't see the pictures!"
Jocelyn: "Well, then sit up. You do it to yourself."

deja vu: "Why do we think these things happened before? Simple. They did happen before, in our minds, as visions of the future. Because they are precognitions, we can't fit the material into our system of consciousness as it is now structured. This is basically supernatural stuff. We're seeing into the future but haven't learned how to process the experience. So it stays hidden until we come face to face with the event. How we are free to remember it, to experience it as familiar material." -don delillo, white noise

I never get deja vu. It's something I get a bit huffy about, actually.

Surprisingly peaceful moment: sitting on my living-room floor, surrounded by my old friends and the rustlings of plastic lego blocks, punctuated by the odd request: "Have you seen any other ones like this?" "Can you pass me that six-by-one white?"

The word of the day (brought to you by mirriam-webster.com): stir-crazy. "distraught because of prolonged confinement." That's what I am. Someone needs to intervene. Not that I need to go out (beacause I have to do homework), but... well, I don't know. Someone else solve this problem, please.


i'm a policeman directing traffic
keeping everything moving everything static

Saturday, March 9, 2002 @ 11:38 a.m.

So, question: do Wal-Mart employees have a choice as to whether they appear as models in Wal-Mart flyers? Do they get paid for this extra work? Do they keep to keep the plus-sized sweatshirts, cheap athletic shoes, and winning smiles? This is something I have always wondered about, although I'm not exactly losing sleep about it.

I'm watching Persona for my film essay.


you're my favourite flavour
Friday, March 8, 2002 @ 01:30 p.m.

not everybody in khakis.

another shirt I really want, although I'm not sure I would ever wear it. (Hell, I probably would. I wore that gob shirt yesterday. Not proudly, but I wore it.)

Hmmm... it's such a lonely day. Cold and inhospitable. I need someone to talk to, a hot tub, and a blue drink. Does anybody want to come over to my house tomorrow for some low-key nonaggressive chilling?


i'm a renegade fighter
Thursday, March 7, 2002 @ 08:11 p.m.

Our obsession with technology, improvement, innovation, progress (or simply change disguised as progress)-- I wonder if it has anything to do with death. We're the only species to live every day cognisciently aware of the immediacy of our own deaths. Thus technology, as a backup version of ourselves, our consciousness should we need it to outlive us? Or constant development, as though mortality were something we could outrun?
Devices for immortality. Existence machines.

The new pitas server is so fast. It's splendid.


disturbing link du jour
Wednesday, March 6, 2002 @ 08:57 p.m.

lego porn (via shift magazine)

"I taped [the hockey game] and watched it later."
"How postmodern of you!" -my FMS prof

"Can we reach no further in this subject than experience and probability?" -David Hume, on science

"I suppose that even the most pleasurable of imaginable occupations, that of batting baseballs through the windows of the R.C.A. building, would pall a little as the days ran on." -James Thurber on how all occupations have their disadvantages

"They won't let us bring nail clippers on the plane but they give us metal forks?" -The elderly lady (apparently with a bit of an anarchist bent) next to me on the plane

"Have you met Harold? [gestures at empty chair; friend looks at him quizzically] ...It's no use being crazy if you can't have a little fun!" -John Nash, in A Beautiful Mind

"Bye, Europe!" -The small child seated in front of me, as our plane took off from London to Calgary

"... and 'Moulin Rouge,' which you will either love or dislike..." -The head flight attendant, describing our in-flight programming

"Well, it's a great location... right on the main road." -Me, on the convenience of Stonehenge

"And my friends are better prepared mentally than anybody else for the future that is actually going to arrive... me and my friends are throwing-out consultants. Wish us all luck; we send you resumes and kisses." -Douglas Coupland, Shampoo Planet

"You're so goddamned concerned about the civilians, and I don't give a damn." -Richard Nixon, then US President, to Henry Kissinger, Secretary of State, on civilian casualties in Vietnam, on tape just released this week


so why'd you come home,/
to this faithless town?

Yesterday (March 5th 2002) @ evening

So: my boots set off airport security metal detectors. I take them off and send them through on the conveyor belt, through the x-ray machine, and pad through myself in my striped socks. The security woman grins at me and I grin back.


Feb. 25th @ xxx

Well, I'm off to the UK. I will have a good trip. You will continue to check this page on an obsessively daily basis to see if I've updated while I'm gone, which I probably won't.

But the good news is, pepperoni is delicious!

Have a good week!


if you're feeling salty, then I'm your tequila
if you've got the freedom then I've got the time

Wednesday, March 6, 2002 @ 08:49 p.m.

i. the light is so harsh outside, as if this were a space station and not a home. everything seems to be made of blocks, like a home built by a small child.
ii. TV is a wasteland. i hate it.
iii. downloaded, poor-quality movies of "bloopers": animals injuring themselves, people trying to jump over swimming pools and failing, broken limbs. it's not supposed to be funny.
iv. a permanent nintendo whine in my ears.
v. feeling guilty because i am a bad consumer, and i let myself be bullied.
vi. jealousy. i'm jealous of everyone around me, well, almost everyone.
vii. perspective, or lack thereof.
viii. the last time someone told me they loved me. i don't know when it was. whenever it was, it's #8.
ix. the way a laptop screen wavers in front of your eyes.
x. the end of the world.

yeah, that's it. I was sitting at the computer when it came, and I didn't even have time to lift my fingers off the keys to my ears. suddenly electricity ended, or there was too much of it, and the world fried itself and then froze, and my last thought was something mundane: "this isn't what i thought it would be like" or "i wish i was somewhere else for this."

only then it turned out it wasn't the end of the world after all; it was just the end of people. although, if it makes us feel better, the planet will never recover.


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