more me, me, marvelous me

[a boy]
[a girl]
[buy me stuff]

links related to this site


a few of my favourite things

[angie] is a superhero
[james] is captain obvious
[jeff] is an internet ninja
though [jess] is but small she is fierce
[meghan] is the royal buffalo

they have sutff you can buy

[pick*y cosmetics]
[abe books]
[emily strange]

interesting strangers

[eric conveys an emotion]
[amplified to rock]
[mary chen]
[oh messy life]
[exploding dog]

other unclassifiable things

[the onion av club]
[fifty fresh pitas]
[damn hell ass kings]
[atlantic unbound]
[art of the mix]
[red balloon]
[the new varscona]
[the sims]
[malcolm in the middle]
[wild colonials]
[disturbing search requests]
[hey! url!]
[u of a]
[divide by zero]
[1000 journals]

l < subversive > ?
boys [suck]

i've been
fucking imood
since march 1st, 2000!

Jocelyn's movie list 2001.
Sunday, December 30, 2001 @ 01:25 p.m.

  1. Amelie: Hands down, my favourite movie of the year. The main actress was so engaging, the story was wonderful, and the visuals were hypnotizing-- I couldn't stop watching. It had its share of strange camera tricks, but not to the extent where they were distracting. Plus: travelling lawn gnomes, true love, and photobooths. What could possibly be better?

  2. Lord of the Rings: good vs. evil... kickass wizards, sexy humans, cute hobbits, cool fight scenes, true love (again), pathos, and even the occasional joke. I cried when Boromir died. Both times. Only downside: sitting in theatre seats for, like, 5 hours. Oh, and having to wait an entire year for The Two Towers.

  3. Zoolander: ten words. "There's more to life than being really really GOOD-looking!" Also: the walk-off scene, David Duchovny as the embittered hand model, and "Blue Steel". The best really stupid movie of the year.

  4. Ocean's 11. This movie had a lot going for it: a tights, smart script, a plot that was both sensical and surprising, stars who didn't take themselves too seriously, and enough style to make up for any possible flaw. (Plus: Topher Grace in a cameo, playing himself as an idiot!) Only downside: the whole Julia Roberts subplot. It was annoying. She was annoying. Just once I'd like a good heist movie without a pretty girl.

  5. Harry Potter: a faithful adaptation of a very good book. Plus, the kid who played Harry looked just the way I thought Harry should look. Hogwarts was spectacular. I can't wait for the next one.

  6. Ghost World: surprisingly engaging, watchable story with three very cool actors (Thora Birch, Scarlett Johannsen or however you spell her name, and Steve Buscemi). I can't remember the last time I saw a movie that was so sympathetic and smart about teenagers. Bonus: it had mysticism, humour, and strangeness in just the right measure.

  7. The Shipping News: Dark but engaging movie based on the dark but engaging book. With Cate Blanchett, Kevin Spacey, Julianne Moore and Judi Dench, I couldn't NOT go see it; but (surprise!) the movie itself was actually GOOD. Had just the right mix of the supernatural, the darkly comic, and the achingly human. Great cinematography! Car crashes! Inbred Newfoundlanders! OK, so it wasn't the most politically correct film of the year.

  8. The Score: Heist movie no one saw, with a really excellent performance by Edward Norton and a good one by the other guy (Al Pacino or Robert DeNiro... because I don't know which is which). Cool setting (Montreal) and cool story. Added bonus: Marlon Brando playing... uh... well, this strange, old, fat guy.

  9. Bridget Jones's Diary: the only good romantic comedy that came out this year (John Cusack, I am looking at you). Renee Zellweger was great, Colin Firth smouldered perfectly. My only complaint was the way some of the more interesting secondary characters were either modified to be mere stereotypes or eliminated altogether. But it was funny and heartwarming, all the same. I'll probably buy it just so I can watch the final kissing scene over and over again... because I'm secretly (notso secretly?) a sentimentalist and a romantic.

  10. O Brother Where Art Thou? Great movie, better soundtrack. Probably the most bizarre, unpredictable and creative story of any film released this year. And I mean "bizarre" in a good way: you could never tell exactly what was going to happen next. At turns funny and frightening (and sometimes a little uneven), but fun to watch.

#1 movie I never got to see because no one loves me enough to go with me: On The Line
Biggest Disappointment: Planet of the Apes (Hmmm... it's almost as if you shouldn't hire swimmers and underwear models to make movies.)
Worst Movie: Tomb Raider (On the flip side: best enduring joke: "LARA CROFT EYEBROW!")
Hardest to Sit Through: Apocalypse Now Redux
Reason I No Longer Love John Cusack Unconditionally: Serendipity
Most Amusing Movie Hairstyles: Blow ("Those sideburns--" accompanied by Oscar-fashion-oh-my-god-wave-- "aaah!")
Promising Movie With Disappointing Ending: Training Day. If you saw it you'll know what I mean. The first two-thirds of the movie had a great moral ambiguity to it. In the last act they removed any trace of a questioning attitude in order to make it OK to kill one of the main characters. I hate the way Hollywood does that-- as if movie viewers aren't smart enough to reach their own conclusions about they're watching, filmmakers have to hand morality to us gift-wrapped. Still, it posed some interesting questions. And, let's face it, even if it had been terrible, I probably would liked it anyway because I just am that way when it comes to Denzel Washington.


Well, there you go. I am aware that no one has been anxiously awaiting my opinion, but this is my website and I don't really care. There's my justification. Cool, huh?


That was supposed to hurt.
Saturday, December 29, 2001 @ 04:35 p.m.

"sure, you are coy,/when handsome greek boys drop by with gifts..."

  • new improved university schedule 100% free of 9:00 classes
  • movie: The Shipping News
  • free-flow lanes
  • chocolate-covered espresso beans (thank you Meghan, Angie and Jess!)
  • Pete Yorn: musicforthemorningafter
  • cheap skirt and sweater to wear to obligatory wedding
  • mcdonald's
  • New episode of Buffy
  • New John Irving book
  • Judi Dench
  • smelling like chlorine
not cool
  • said schedule free of english classes (bad as am english major)
  • chili beans
  • not enough sleep
  • David Usher cover of Fast Car
  • Missing the train
  • passing out in the hot tub
  • computer too slow to take Sims on Hot Dates-> Sims never get any action
  • no stickers for front of new black notebook

Well, anyway, I Had A Good Day.

fun DVD bonus feature: orgasmic groundhog


"it wasn't a parking job per se..."
Friday, December 28, 2001 @ 08:41 p.m.

  • "I'm pretty sure this was supposed to come with vegetables." "DAVE!"
  • Alex's beard and "nouveau porn"
  • Ghostbusters with COMMENTARY!
  • winners and prom queens
  • Caesars, mini bottles of rum, MSG cookies, waaaaay too many pistachios, brandy beans, and chocolates


Wednesday, December 26, 2001 @ 11:17 pm

OK, I gave into the Megaentity that is Bill and downloaded microsoft messenger... so if you use it please add me to your list. (search for me by email... Even if I don't know you. I feel like a huge loser with one person on my contact list.


"we" and by "we" I mean "me"

And in other news... I'm insane and stupid. I make up problems. I make the worst of good situations. I will be sitting here perfectly fine and then my brain is like, "hmm, Jocelyn, are you sure you don't have this problem?" and before you know it I DO, not because I actually HAVE it but because I think I have it and then the symptoms of thinking about it are the same as the symptoms of having it and then before you know it I'm acting all crazy-like. I pull shit like this all the time. I don't mean to, but I do. I make shit up and I talk myself into it. I'm a worrying-hypochondriac. It hurts people around me and I know this and I don't want to but I can't shtop.

Anyway, this is (in part) the root of all my troubles-- well, this and getting hit in the face with a baseball in seventh grade-- so I am posting this here as a reminder to myself that (a) my new year's resolution is not to be crazy anymore and (b) everything bad that happens to me is in my own fucking head.

James: I'm sorry. I could do this, you know, but the truth is I'm not un-fuck-with-able; I'm highly fuckwithable. I'm rice paper, glue and smoke, and misunderstandings. I tell myself this is what makes me great but maybe it's just what makes me difficult.


would you dance/if i asked you to dance...
Wednesday, December 26, 2001 @ 06:53 p.m.

So I've been doing some research for my dad's textbook, and one of the things i had to work on was the teacher's guide key to an activity about religious festivals. There was a little blurb about Kumbh Mela, this Hindu festival that takes place every 12 years in Allahabah, India, where 45 million believers converge on the city and wade into the water of the Ganges, Yamuna and Saraswati rivers where they converge. Apparently, this dip in the water purifies sin and cleans the soul. By far the most rewarding thing I found on the festival online, though, was this: A Virtual Dip. Spare yourself the expense and effort required to make the actual pilgrimmage and cleanse your soul online! And don't worry, it is Worth.


I have that foggy post-christmas too-much-cider sleepiness headache, and I'm not really sure what is going on.

  1. fighting it writing letters to jeannie - watching you walk away - watching movies eating ice cream - friends who wander in and out - sleeping too much - taking too many showers - watching the snow settle - terrible christmas music on the radio - board games - burying myself under a pile of books - feeling sick to my stomach - good health and good company - boxing day shopping - going to the gym - working too hard - making money - ignoring it and fighting it are sometimes the same thing
  2. giving up post-christmas dreariness - sunsets at 4 oclock - chocolate - pine needles between my toes - pressure against my skull, from the inside, like a bad dream - ignoring myself - my sims crazy accumulating - walking into doorframes people - your hand on the small of my back crossing the street - you were like a blink and now you're gone - i miss feeling safe like myself


i miss new wave/watching you/walk away
Wednesday, December 26, 2001 @ 01:26 p.m.


Christmas 2001: A top 10 List
Wednesday, December 26, 2001 @ 08:12 a.m.

  1. Stupid board games: Clue, Taboo, and Monopoly. In Clue everyone in my family tries to develop a more complicated system than everyone else, until eventually everyone is just keeping track of everything everyone else says, including "could you pass me the dice?" *feverish writing*
  2. Lord of the Rings, multiple times
  3. Only eating food that involves chocolate, or cream cheese.
  4. Fuzzy pants, velcro shirt, dr. seuss game (which is fun by the way) and espresso beans!
  5. Arguing with my sister over who gets to play The Sims Hot Date.
  6. Sleeping, playing Poker Squares on James's 386 and watching TV.
  7. Christmas shopping and more shopping.
  8. Finals.
  9. Playing What Child Is This? on the piano.
  10. Reading the copious amounts of Christmas mail that we get every year from distant friends and relations-- half of it is from people we haven't heard from since last year's Christmas letter.


Deletia: a retrospective
Wednesday, December 19, 2001 @ 06:51 p.m.

In honour of about two years of enlightening, amusing, and introspective entires in the deletiaTM website franchise, I have decided to do a retrospective redesign of the site. (No, cynical reader, this has nothing to do with the fact that I've had the pitas default template for the past few weeks. Nope. Nothing. Shut up! I hate you.) Thus, the deliciously minimalist purple-and-black text-and-image combo we all know and love. Yes, yes. Adoring comments may be placed, as always in the guestbook. (Yes, I have a guestbook! I haven't tried to bully anyone into signing it for years, but if you get inspired, it's over there in the much-maligned left column.)

OK. On to bigger and more important things.

1. My birthday is coming up in a few days. I don't really expect anyone to get me a gift, because all you people are cheapskates and I've decided to give up all my earlthy possessions. (That's a lot of possessions, dear reader, including some of the following gems: a 286, a bronze bust of mozart's head, no less than 4 copies of the book One Day In The Life of Ivan Denisovich, an assortment of pez dispensers and related paraphenalia, a giant gold belt buckle with the words "Old Hunters Never Die, They Just Stay Loaded", a pile of tangled embroidery thread, a half-dozen old black notebooks, a Smith & Corona typewriter, a map of the London subway system, a huge stuffed cow, and several ridiculously unwearable, indescribable hats.) Anyway... I expect birthday greetings. A Pooh-esque "Many Happy Returns Of the Day" would be appropriate. Or else I will kick your ass.

2. Actually, there is no number 2. But a numbered list with one item seems pretty lame, don't you think?


Dear Kevin, Brian, Nick, Howie and AJ:
Tuesday, December 18, 2001 @ 09:31 a.m.

I can't believe I'm doing this. I thought we would be together forever. I admit, at first I was a little uneasy about our relationship, but the more time I gave it, the more comfortable I became. I was happy with you-- happier than I had ever been. You made me feel like it was OK to be myself. No matter what happens, I'll always care for you and look back on our time together with affection.

But lately things haven't been going that well. I'm sure you've noticed. There were a lot of little problems, but the one that really tipped the scales was that thinly veiled greatest hits CD with one new song. I couldn't believe it. I expected so much more from you. I remember when I could proudly defend you in NSYNC vs. BSB debates-- when I could say you were not only cuter, but more talented too. I remember those good old days-- dancing with chairs, wearing shiny suits, giving dumb interviews and playing basketball. What happened? When did you start taking things so seriously? The bottom line is, there's not enough room in this relationship for me and your ego. One of us has to go.

I'm sorry, boys. I think this is how it has to be. It just wasn't working out, and you can only keep hitting yourself over the head with it for so long.



i was there when you broke my heart/i remember my heart
Monday, December 17, 2001 @ 07:14 p.m.

I've been trying to check my marks online, but apparently every other one of the U of A's 30,000 students has the same idea, because the server has crashed on me a half-dozen times today (yay!). As a result I've been forced to play Sims a lot. Yeah, I know. Logic is a dangerous tool in the right hands.

I've been thinking that so far this year, my birthday week/christmas festivities are SUCKING ASS. What's with this year this year?

I spent most of my afternoon sorting a huge pile of my dad's stuff into colour-coded file folders. My father is crazy. He's brilliant, but he couldn't organize his way out of a paper bag. He leaves me with a half-foot stack of essays, overheads, assignments, class lists, memos, etc. on my desk this morning with a note: "Jocelyn. Please sort this out." Right. But, he pays me $11.50 an hour to do it, so I'm not complaining. Also, I'm not really daunted by that kind of stuff-- chaos doesn't faze me. I'm all about ordering chaos. It's very zen.

Now that you're laughing at me, I think it's time to return to my Sims.


subtract five points for
Sunday, December 16, 2001 @ 05:45 p.m.

Believe me, I wish I had more Ralph Klein stories for you, but unfortunately I don't. Instead I will regale you with haikus about Christmas break:

i love christmas break.
there's no school-- it fucking rocks.
yeah-- you KNOW you know!

the most nicest thing
about christmas break is the
presents and candy.

I don't really thing that, but I couldn't think of anything else with five syllables in it. Not today.

Now, because a number of people have been harrassing me about what I want for Christmas, my new improved Christmas List 2001 (now available in tangerine!):

  • chocolate-covered espresso beans
  • a new black notebook, from staples-- black, lined-- i've always thought this would be the nicest possible present because, as an almost obsessive keeper of notebooks, a blank notebook has infinite potential in my eyes. Therefore, the appeal is the romance. There is nothing more romantic than potential.
  • an airstream trailer
  • mixed tapes/CDs
  • iZone film
  • stickers
  • and ibook special edition in graphite
  • tshirts with any of the following on them: sea monkeys, robots, muppets, etc.
  • anything related to satsuma
  • orange aviator sunglasses
  • a kitten (not really, my mom won't let me-- but if I had one I would name it dante, and it would be the smartest kitten ever-- only it might kill Toby)
  • a star wars lunchbox
  • finger puppets (for my play-- animals and people are good)
  • mini eggs
  • a CD burner
  • a new identity
  • a girl with a short skirt and a loooooooong jacket


Saturday, December 15, 2001 @ 12:07 p.m.

I think we should keep Ralph Klein as the premier of Alberta permanently, just because the guy is fucking hilarious. I'm sorry, but what he doesn't accomplish in terms of good politics he more than makes up for in sheer laughs. I was giggling for about ten minutes after I heard this story on the radio:

"The premier got out of the car and began talking to several residents [at a homeless shelter in Edmonton]. But within minutes he was swearing and screaming, according to witnesses, telling them to get jobs and throwing money at them. His speech was reportedly slurred.

'Earlier in the evening, I had been at a private dinner and had some drinks,' Klein wrote in a statement released Friday. 'I don't deny that, but I want centre residents and all Albertans to know that I will always strive to represent my office and this province with dignity and respect.'"

Come on. I think we could use a few more laughs at the expense of ridiculous polticians. Ralphie for Premier-- Forever! The man is great for morale!